So tired

I took my first Clomid pill last night around 10:30 and went to bed shortly thereafter. I've heard that taking it at night helps because you sleep through the worst side effects. Well, that is great if you can stay asleep. R came in around 11:30, so that woke me up, and from there out it just went downhill. I don't think I got more than a hour solid sleep the whole night. The closest thing I can compare it to was sleeping while on painkillers or coming out of anesthesia (well maybe that later one is because one of my dreams was about that). The whole night was just semi-asleep but not really. I just couldn't get comfortable and I was either too hot or too cold.

Hopefully tonight will go better, at least I can sleep in tomorrow.

::faints::

I just opened my latest insurance summary for my surgery.

Looked it over since my HSG didn't have the prior authorization go through in time for billing, it reads:

YOU SAVED: $16,597.19

AF is here.

Naturally she arrived in the middle of the 1.5 hr church service we had to attend for R's nephew's baptism yesterday. I was prepared, but not for a service that long. I finally had to just get up and leave 10 minutes before it was over and make a mad dash for ladies room. Lets just say the RE was very, very wrong about it being lighter. The good news is I had no cramps or pain.

My Clomid consult was this morning. Most of it covered stuff I already knew. I will be starting out on 50mg of Clomid cd5-9 and my first monitoring appointment with be on 11/3, which will be cd10. I had my baseline b/w and ultrasound to today, and it really hit me that I'm about to become a human pin cushion for all this. If I'm lucky I won't need back to back b/w for monitoring, but it is possible depending on what they see/how I progress. I have tiny veins and even with switching arms, I don't see this working well.

So once they have decent sized dominant follicles, I will give myself an injection, Ovidrel, that will trigger ovulation within the next 24-36 hours. After ovulation I will be taking progesterone suppositories twice a day and will need to do this all the way through my 1st trimester. That part I was not expecting. Yuck.

Oh shit.

I had my stitches out at my appt. , and when I was typing up my last entry, I noticed that my one incision looked odd. It looked as though the skin around it had swelled, so the actual incision seemed "sunken". Fast forward an hour or so, I looked again and the god damn thing is clearly starting to open back up! So I called my RE's office, got the after hours service, who said they send out a page to a doctor and get back to me. AHHHH! This sucks. I had arthroscopic surgery on my knee in high school and the same thing happened but the fucking thing opened all the way up. I have dealt with painful extra scar tissue ever since.

*****************

Update - the doctor did get back to me last night and said it should be fine, but if the skin became bright red, it started to hurt or if I developed a fever to call. So I stuck some butterfly bandages on it and hopefully I won't have a big scar.

Post OP appointment

So it looks like R did a somewhat decent job of remembering what my RE said after surgery. I was officially diagnosed with Stage I endometriosis, although she did say it was "everywhere". I got to see pictures from the surgery, which were pretty cool since I actually got to see the endo she was talking about (looked like little blood blisters). She went over my Hysteroscopy first and said that in addition to the known septum, she also found tiny polyps at the entrance of both my tubes. These were removed and the pathology report came back as benign (glad I never knew they were even running one, less to worry about). I asked if these could be the cause for our troubles and she said they might have been contributing to it, but they would have sealed off my tubes entirely if they had continued to grow.

I did ask about the suspected endometrioma and she said it was most likely a temporary cyst that formed when blood became trapped in the corpus luteum. There was nothing externally visible during the surgery and she said they don't like to go into the ovary for something that small. She didn't seem concerned and said if it returns they will just keep an eye on it.

So on Monday we have our Clomid consult. The RE said it was up to us whether we wanted to proceed with just Clomid or move right into an IUI cycle. Since my insurance only covers one IUI cycle, we are going with Clomid first. Also on that note, R said enrollment for his insurance is Oct. 31. Fuck. I thought it was in January, which meant if we exhausted my insurance coverage, we could look into his and if need be, start injectables in the new year. Now, I'm left to either switching without it being necessary yet, or being up shit creek later. I guess the first step is finding out what his insurance does cover.

Back to the Clomid. I forgot my BCP last night, but I figured my RE would say it is ok to stop them (which she did) so now we wait for AF. I am hoping she'll arrive tomorrow, since then they could do my baseline monitoring at my consult. I did ask if she knew whether AF was generally worse after a hysto (since my post sono/HSG AF was near crippling) and she said it should be lighter since everything is already cleaned out, so that was a huge relief. Then she said post clomid AFs were generally worse, so lets hope I never have to find out.

Dear pregnant board poster...

It is fine if you wish to remain on a board about getting pregnant after you have already done so. I understand wanting to stay with people you know. It is NOT, however, okay to bitch about your symptoms. The rest of us would love to in your shoes right now, and your whining just pisses me off. I realize morning sickness probably sucks for many people, so I can see a comment here and there or if someone asks. Multiple posts in a matter of hours (and joining in on a non-pregnant pity party? so not cool) is straight up inconsiderate. Move on to the 1st trimester board with the rest of the harpies that got KU on their first try and don't fully appreciate their situation. Or stay, and learn to STFU about some things.

Thank you.

getting better

Nothing exciting to report here. This morning I wasn't nearly as stiff/sore as I was the past two mornings. Yesterday I took the bandages off and took a shower. There is some bruising but it looks as though scarring should be minimal (only that fourth spot would ever be visible anyway). My mobility is considerably better, with the exception of bending and/or reaching my legs/feet. R still had to assist me with getting dressed. The other thing I can't do is laugh. Obviously I can, but it hurts way too much. So no funny movies for me. :(

Recovery day 1

I will probably condense these recovery posts eventually, but right now I figure I just write how I am feeling as I go so it is fresh in my mind. Right now I am actually feeling ok. I have propped myself up on the sofa (sort of half sitting up with my legs up) while I ate a little soup and took another percocet. I did the same thing last night long enough to eat a little soup for dinner, but otherwise I have been laying as flat on my back as possible to keep the trapped air from traveling upward and it seems to help my incision pain too. Until recently, the pain pills werent' even touching my pain (or maybe they were and I would've been near dead without them).

Many Lap experiences I've read say the trapped air is much worse than the incision pain. Well, those people must have been high as a fucking kite the whole time because these things hurt like a bitch. I have one in my belly button (most painful) on right above the pubic mound, one directly inside my right hip bone (second most painful) and one slight above that to the right of my belly button. I think laying flat has successfully kept the gas pain from being too bad. I got that suggestion from the comments left here....all very helpful.

surgery is done!

There was some screw up with the schedule, so they called me, we rushed in and I was in surgery all within a half an hour. It was kind of a crazy rush of nurses, I saw my RE and the anesthesiologist briefly while my IV was started. I have heard mixed things, but I did walk into the OR myself (IV was only saline at this point). I remember counting back from 10 on the table and the next thing I remember was waking up and asking what happened.

Unluckily, my RE spoke to H in the waiting room without me present, so despite my written questions to ask I don't have great answers. The good news is that it wasn't as bad as they expected, so "mild" endo. I do have four incisions though. They didn't remove the cyst because according to H, it wasn't there (yeah, not sure about that one). They did remove some from my tubes and 4 spots from the outside of my uterus. Several of the frimbia (finger like thing on the end of the fallopian tubes) were fused together on my right side, so they fixed that.

The hysteroscopy did reveal that my septum was much larger than they thought. It extended 1/3 of the way into my uterine cavity but they were able to remove it.

Recovery room wasn't too bad, I woke feeling like I had bronchitis my throat was so sore. They did give me ice chips which helped a little. I am almost positive I first woke up when they were moving me from the op table to a gurney (hence my what happened questions...I was still staring at the same lights as before). My initial pain wasn't too bad but after a little while it felt like I was being stabbed...whatever the first nurse gave did jack sh!t, but the second nurse that checked on me gave something that worked. I was able to go to bathroom (with assistance, R was very good about helping change everything) and get checked out. Sadly, that is wearing off already so am going to try to take a nap.

Bottoms up!

I am home from work and doing my best to down this magnesium citrate stuff. I thought it would be thick like cough syrup, but it isn't at all. It has weird sweet but bitter taste to it, and a tingly effect almost as though it was carbonated.

Anyway, I started my lovely liquid diet at noon with beef broth for lunch. (oh, and I like to give a big FU to someone in the adjoining office space on our floor....what is really necessary to ensure the whole floor smelled like cheeseburgers and french fries? did you run around and wave it in circles...because that is what is smelled like.) I am not hungry, but all I can think about is food.

So....surgery tomorrow at 2:30. At this point I have to be there at 1:30, they will call if prior surgeries move faster and mine gets bumped up. I'm not nervous yet, thanks to the wealth of info I've found through blogs and the web, I think I am pretty well prepared. I have:

-popsicles and Italian ice in the freezer in case of sore throat from intubation

-super comfy pants (these ones from Old Navy are fabulous)

-a book to read in case I need to something do while I wait to go in

-various movies scouted out on On Demand

-USB keyboard and mouse so I can blog and post comfortably without lifting my clunky laptop

-some relatively mindless work that can be done remotely if I get too bored before being fully ready to go into the office

And now I'm off to make R a cheat sheet with questions to ask the RE post surgery in case I am not fully cognisant at that point.

Huh

Last night I fell asleep watching Baby Mama and woke up watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre...what kind of message is that? (and what deranged person put those two next to each other in the lineup)

BCPs suck balls

***TMI warning***
I've been on these things 11 days so far and I think I've experienced every side effect in the stupid little booklet they came with. Last Friday I didn't feel well after lunch, so much so that I turned down a happy hour invite (that was a first for me). At first I thought maybe it was fluke and I just had a few "off" days. Tuesday I made the mistake of eating chili for lunch, but I was fine most of the day. Dinner was another story, I ended up trying to eat some mac & cheese and spent the remainder of the evening running between the couch and the bathroom. Wednesday I didn't eat or drink anything until dinner. Yesterday I stuck with juice and water during the day and seemed to be getting better. Today, after suffering from nausea all morning, I figured maybe I needed food, so I go to my usual Friday lunch spot, get my favorite soup like always...and I have reached the conclusion that I just CAN'T EAT AT ALL. My insides feel like crap. I know this can't be endo side effects, they aren't this consistent. At least I don't have to worry about water retention...I can't "retain" anything. TGIF.

pre-OP appointment

Have I mentioned that when I go to my RE's office from work I have to drive by the 3 Maternity ward signs at the hospital? Half the time I don't notice, but some days they almost make me cry. Yesterday was one of those days.

Anyway, most of the pre-OP covered stuff I've already learned through message boards & blogs. My RE did tell me that she wants me to do a bowel prep beforehand. Not everyone has to do this for Lap surgery, just those where there is a likelier possibility of severe endo. The bowel prep will reduce the chance of injury if endo needs to be removed from the intestine area. So...in addition to no food or water from midnight until my 2:30 surgery, I get a liquid diet from lunch onward the day before. Sadly, I doubt that includes martinis. Awesome.

The day of surgery I will need to show up one hour prior to the procedure. Some time between now and then the anesthesiologist (I spelled that right on the first try...aren't you impressed?) will call me and go over medical history. I will be intubated, but I made sure to ask, and everything goes in and comes out while I am under (except for the IV of course). The surgery itself should take about 1.5 hrs, and recovery/waking up is about the same time. I also asked what I'll know before leaving and she said they will tell us everything they find while I'm in recovery. I most likely won't remember any of it, so I will be sure to make R write it down. The RE gave me a script for Percocet, but she said she has had some patients that never need them, so I should take advil and wait until I really need the hard stuff. Yeah....I'll happily be popping the percs that first day thank you very much.

One last thing, after we left I looked over my paperwork and it specifically says no nail polish. I've heard this before, but does anyone know why you can't have nail polish on during surgery?