A different kind of trip to the RE

I stopped in the office today to pay our annual embryo storage fee and I brought C with me.  I'd had some reservations about bringing him in, because I know it can be hard to sit in that office and see kids/babies come in, but I'm really glad I did.  Everyone was so excited to see him.  We ran into one of my favorite nurses in the parking lot as she was leaving for the day (how's that for luck?) and our other favorite nurse happened to be working too.   We got a ton of compliments and my face hurt from smiling so much.   I am so proud of my little guy.   4 months already!

time to do this - birth story

For a multitude of reasons, I never sat down and wrote this out, but my friend had her little boy today and looking at pictures brought it all back so its fresh in my mind again.  Just a warning though, if you are currently only trying to surround yourself with easy birth stories, stop reading after the actual birth part.

I woke up Memorial Day feeling a bit off.  I thought I was having Braxton Hicks again so I ate breakfast and they seemed to go away so I went on with our day as normal.  By dinner time I was having to breath through some of the pains but they were still irregular and went away when I changed activities.  9pm at night I told R that the pains were bad enough that I wouldn't be able to sleep, so no matter what they were (I really thought it was intestinal pain) I needed to call the doctor.  As expected, we were sent to L&D to rule out pre-term labor.  I think we checked in to triage somewhere around 11pm.  The doctor that came in was actually the same doctor that saw us when we thought we were losing C at 10weeks because of the SCH.  I doubt he remembered us, but it made it a little surreal for me.

As soon as they hooked up the monitors, the contraction monitor spiked to an 11....on a 1 to 12 scale.  So I knew I wasn't over-reacting about gas pain at that point.  The Dr. came in to do an internal, and I really expected to be told I was a 1-2 and would be on bedrest from here on out.  Well, the bedrest part was correct, only it was a L&D bed because I was 3-4cm and he could feel the head so I was 80% effaced.  We were told that we'd be admitted, but this far along they wouldn't do anything to stop the contractions.   I asked about steroid shots, and was told that they couldn't give me the shots because there was currently not enough medical data to support administering steroids between 34 and 36 weeks, but that there was a study currently being done at the hospital to examine possible benefits to late pre-term babies.  Since participation gave us a chance at getting the steroids, we opted in.  He did a quick u/s to confirm the baby was head down, I got an IV (twice, she blew the first vein..that was a lovely bruise later) and I was sent upstairs.

We got settled in to our L&D room around 2am and by this point, the back labor was pretty bad.  I knew that if things progressed quickly I would need whatever sleep I could get so opted for the epidural.  It was in place by 3am and I was numbed up by the time the medical study person made her rounds to give the first steroid (or maybe placebo) shot.  I managed to sleep for a few hours after that.

Tuesday morning I was still around a 4, so the new game plan was to turn off the epidural around noon and hope that things stayed calm and I could be moved to observation until at least 35 weeks.  So off it went at 12 and I was able to get up and use the bathroom a few times, the second time I got up I lost my mucus plug.  By 3pm, the contractions and back labor were bad enough that I asked to turn the epidural back on.  Once it was back on, everything slowed down again and I more or less hung steady until later that night.  At 10:30pm I was around 5cm and 100% effaced.  Over the course of the night my epidural wore off several times...each time the pain had shifted lower...first mid lower back, then my right hip, and finally low and in the front.  The 3rd time it wore off I asked to be checked again.  I was told they wanted to wait until my water broke but the pain was so bad I demanded that they check me then.  The Dr. came in shortly after 3am and I was at an 8.  As she asked for the hook to break my water, it broke on its own and gave me momentary relief of the pain, but a few minutes after the doctor left the pain became so bad I started vomiting (not a whole lot, because I'd been on a liquid diet for more than 24hrs at that point, but it still sucked) and R paged the nurses.  Because my left leg was now entirely numb from the epidural, while my right side could still feel the pain, I opted to have the epidural redone.   R held me steady with a bed pan as a barf bucket while they redid it.  Thankfully the relief came soon after and I slept until 7am.

Right before morning shift change, my admitting doctor checked me and I was at a 10.  She decided I still needed to labor down a bit so she wished me luck and headed out.  I napped for another hour and then the next shift made their rounds.  The primary OB on the floor at that time was not from my practice, and snapped something about the head molding and that I shouldn't have been sitting like that for so long.  WTF?   Luckily there was also a doctor from my practice on-call with her so she actually performed the delivery and was awesome.  When it came time to push, it was R on one leg, a nurse on the other and her.  Not the chaotic scene I'd always imagined.   They did need to give me pitocin because my contractions still weren't consistent, but I pushed through 3 contractions (12 pushes) and he was out at 8:43am.   He cried right away and the pediatric team took him off to the side to be examined.  Everything looked great initially and I was able to hold him and put him to my breast for a minute or two.  Shortly after that it was determined that his glucose level was too low and he would need to go to the NICU.   I would not see him again until 8pm that night.

While they were checking him out, the OB and nurses were also checking me out.  As soon as I saw him, I completely forgot about that pesky placenta that I'd need to deliver as well.  Let me just tell you, the abdominal/uterine massage they do to get it out and make sure your uterus is shrinking properly is almost as painful as the contractions.  What came after that was 10x worse.  After they took C, the massage produced a huge gush...from the look on R's face I knew I hadn't just peed myself even though I asked hopefully if that was all it was.  The nurse gathered up the blankets and pads and they waited a few more minutes in hopes that things would straighten themselves out.  The second massage produced an even bigger gush and the top of my uterus was nowhere near where it should have been.  At this point the OB said I could either go into surgery or she could try manual extraction.  She made it sound like the manual extraction would be easier so we agreed to that.  Now at some point which I can't remember, my epidural had been removed.  Still not fully grasping what was about to happen, I asked for Stadol...since my IV was still in.  The Dr. said it wouldn't help with the pain, but I didn't care...at least it would help me forget it.  Unluckily, that was not the case, and I can say with certainty that it was the worst pain I've ever felt in my life.  Manual extraction meant she reached all the way up inside me and felt around for the remaining placenta.  3 times.  I screamed through all of it and on the 3rd attempt I remember screaming "please stop" and it was then, being one gush away from needing a blood transfusion, that it was decided I would need surgery after all.  

Everything from then on is pretty much a blur...they doped me up on several different drugs and multiple doctors came in to talk to me.  I remember checking with R when one pair left my bedside because I wasn't sure if they had really been there or if I'd just imagined them.  Once on the operating table, they placed the epidural for the 3rd time and I lay in my drugged up haze while they did the D&E.  Looking back, the surgery would have been a much, much simpler option.  I suppose the only benefit would have been that, if the extraction had worked, I wouldn't have needed to be in post-op recovery.

Somewhere around 2pm I was on  the high risk floor in recovery, and then moved to regular post partum in the late afternoon.   I had to wait until I got walk on my own before they removed my catheter and cleared me to go down to the NICU.

So there it is.  I still have a difficult time with how things played out after his birth.  There is no blame to place anywhere, my doctors were amazing and we have no answers as to why he came early.  Unluckily, chances are I could be looking at repeat of these issues with the next one.  At least next time I will be a little better prepared....I hope.

starting a new blog

R and I decided a while back that we wanted to start a blog that we'd share with friends and family.  As I explained there, it won't be as blunt as this one, because I can't very well bitch about things like my MIL's smoking habit and how exposing C to 3rd hand smoke still gives me anxiety if my sister-in-law's will be reading it.  Well, I could, but I don't think that would help the situation.  So it might be a little boring, but here it is.  I will hopefully put updates here occasionally too...or at least find time to use this as outlet for venting frustrations, but this one will probably lie mostly dormant until next summer, when we will begin talking about FETs for child #2.  Hard to believe that it is almost a year since I started the cycle that brought us our little boy!

8 weeks & starting bedtime routine

This is the third night we've tried an actual bedtime routine, and we did bath, bottle, book, and bed all within 45 minutes and he was (insert 40 minute break to go sooth and feed him...again) originally down by 8:45.  He is back in his crib but not fully asleep so I'm sure this round will be short lived too.  And I was so proud there for a bit that I managed to shorten bedtime from the 2 hour ordeal it has been the past two nights. 

Things are going well for the most part.  C is a good baby and growing so fast.  Our home scale put him around 10.6lbs on monday....hard to believe he was 4lbs lighter just 2 months ago.  I've already had to put away his newborn clothes, and he has been in size 1 diapers for a few weeks now. 

Last week we took our first family trip together and drove all the way up to my parent's summer house in Michigan...a 12-14 hour drive with a normal number of stops, closer to 16 stopping every 3 hours to feed and change C.  We did stop overnight though, because I didn't think driving straight through was a good idea.  C was a champ going out and slept almost the whole way.  He was wide awake once we stopped, but luckily we stopped early and R took him into Cabela's, where he could stare at the ceiling lights while R checked out all the hunting/fishing stuff.   He did really well in a new environment too.  Our biggest concern was of course his sun exposure, but we took walks in the evening or early morning when there was still plenty of shade, and we took his bouncer and put it in his little outdoor baby play tent when we were outside or out on the dock since there was always a nice breeze and it soothed him right to sleep.  We plan on going back up in a few weeks when my parents will also be there.   I'm hoping by that point he is starting to focus more on faces and objects, but since he falls anywhere between 3 weeks adjusted age and 8 weeks, I've got a pretty broad timeline to guess at.

above birth weight!!

Yesterday we had another pediatrician appointment to check on his weight gain...and he is up to 6lbs8oz!! (edit:  oops....as R pointed out after reading this, he is 6lbs, not 8lbs like I originally put...apparently I went from pregnancy brain to mommy brain).  My little baby is getting bigger already.  So this takes some of the pressure off from sticking to a strict feeding schedule.  Waking a sleepy baby in the middle of the night is not as easy as one would think.  I'm still struggling with my milk supply...holding steady around a production of about 10ml an hour.  Colton eats about 70ml every 2-4 hours, so I'm coming in a little under half of what he needs now.  I'm taking Fenugreek right now, and I am going to add in Blessed Thistle before giving my OB a call and asking for Reglan, an anti-convulsant with a side effect of increasing milk production.  Hopefully I can get my supply high enough to do a "breast feeding challenge" and wean off the formula in an attempt to continue the higher supply naturally.

Overall things are going well.  We did have first trip to the ER earlier this week because C wasn't maintaining a high enough body temperature.  At least we didn't have to go to the regular ER with god knows what kind of scummy idiots.  Instead we went to the local children's hospital, which was absolutely wonderful.   They put him under the warmer for a few hours and ran bloodwork as well as a urinalysis (which required a catheter...I'm not sure if that was more traumatic for me or him).  Everything came back fine, so we weren't admitted.  We've kept him double swaddled most of the time since then.

We also had his newborn photos taken this morning and I can't wait to see the proofs.  As I expected, C wasn't thrilled when we tried to place him on his tummy, but I think we got some really good shots anyway.

36 weeks....old?

That is still his gestational age anyway.  So hard to believe my little guy is over a week old already.  I think we've done amazingly well since he has been home.  While pregnant, everyone always tells you to sleep when the baby sleeps, and that you'll never know sleep deprivation like you will after having a newborn.  Well, I suppose we have to attribute some of the ease to extra sleepiness from jaundice, but we are both still functioning on a regular day and night schedule.  The only time I reached the borderline of delirium was last Saturday, after a long day at the hospital...we came home and I told R that I had to lay down.  Our current night schedule is worked around 3 feedings 11-12ish, 2-3ish, and 4-5ish.   I usually head to bed early after pumping and R stays up to do the first feeding.  Then I take over for the next 2 feedings, then head back to bed and sleep in while R takes over around 6.  Colton is increasingly alert and awake in the early hours of the morning though, so we'll see how long this schedule works.

We are still having follow up appts with the pedi, and the NICU requires bi-weekly home visits from a nurse for the next two weeks, but everything appears to be on the right track.  His bilirubin levels are dropping again, and his weight is starting to increase.  He is now back up to 6.04lbs, from a low of 5.13 in the NICU.  The pedi did tell us today that she would have liked to see him gain a little more, so we need to adhere to a 3 hour feeding schedule a little more closely.  My biggest frustration right now is my milk supply.  It just isn't increasing.  Based on pumping amounts, I'm making about 10ml an hour.  Colton eats 60-70ml every 3-4 hours.   I talked to multiple lactation consultants while in the hospital and was told I'm doing everything right.  I started fenugreek yesterday and I really hope it helps. 

He is home!!!

A week ago I walked into the maternity wing at the hospital with a baby in my belly.  Today, I rolled out with a baby in my arms.   We were given the option to have a wheelchair escort or the nurse rolling the crib from the NICU to the entrance.  I opted for the wheelchair and holding him (in the carseat, odd rule but hey, I still had a cute baby in my lap) and while I was not being discharged with the flowers and balloons, I still got the exit I had always pictured.

The pets have done really well so far.  The dog just did a sniff check and wanted to go back outside.  My youngest cat, whom I assumed would immediately confine himself to the bedroom closet...is absolutely fascinated.  Colton is sleeping in the pack n play at the moment, and I suppose it must look like a giant cat carrier, because he is watching it intently.  Very cute.  My older cat is a little more wary, but he is still being affectionate to me, so I know he isn't too upset.

Tomorrow we have our first pediatrician appointment and we have to go get C bloodwork in the morning because his bilirubin levels were 13.7 today and 14 is the highest they want to see it for his age.  If it goes up much more, he may have to go back in to the hospital or have some type of home treatment phototherapy again, but he won't be readmitted to the NICU, so we are done with that part of our journey.

No Homecoming today.

The past two days we have been working toward being discharged today.  Everything seemed great when we got there.  It was only at 12:30, an hour before we expected to be close to heading home, that the doctors made rounds and told us that Colton had lost too much weight and would need to stay another day.  Apparently he is at 9% weight loss and the cut off for his gestational age is 10%.  If he looses more weight they will want to place a feeding tube...and I'm guessing that would add another 3-4 days to his stay.  We are little frustrated (beyond the obvious disappointment) because no one said anything to us about this being a concern until now.  He was on ad lib feeding, meaning he was only fed when he woke up...sometimes in 4-5 increments, and eating around 25-35ml each feeding.  Now they want him eating every 3 hours and at least 45ml.  Um...you couldn't have reached this conclusion yesterday?

So needless to say, the afternoon was a little rough.  We did have our first real breastfeeding session though, so that was a bright point.  Being a preemie, he latches, starts sucking, then forgets what he is doing and stops, but we got a good 10 minutes in before he quit for good today.   And I am happy to report that he did take 45ml between the breast and formula at his evening feeding before we headed home.  Fingers crossed he can maintain his weight for tomorrow.

Discharged today. Just me, not him.

Let the tears commence.  We knew it was a strong possibility that he would not be ready to come with us, and I cry every time I think about it.  He is still making great progress, and was weaned off his IV fluids as of our last feeding this morning, but he was also placed under the billirubin lights because he is showing signs of jaundice.  So now we can't even look at him for extended periods of time because the lights will actually make one sick enough to vomit if looked at too long.   I feel so bad for the poor little guy.  He has spent the first two days of life getting stuck repeatedly in the heel to test his blood sugar (he cries and cries when this happens, it is so heartbreaking to hear) and now he has little foam goggles strapped to his head.  As of now, he is slated to come home on Sunday.  Not bad at all for his gestational age, but just a few days is harder emotionally than anything I could imagine.  My heart truly goes out to all the parents with babies in there longer.

He is here!

I'll post a detailed birth story (probably several posts) later, because the whole experience was so long with so many parts...some absolutely amazing, like his actual birth, and other parts, like my recovery, that were anything but.   

Baby Colton was born at 8:43am June 1st, weighing 6.7lbs!!  He is in the NICU now because his blood sugar wouldn't regulate on feeding alone.  We are about to head down there now, but here is a picture taken yesterday before the Peds. team took him down to the NICU.

Admitted to Labor and Delivery

Yesterday I woke up feeling Braxtons Hicks and what I thought was intestinal pains.  These continued sporadically throughout the day, but by evening it was so painful that I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep at all and I needed some kind of assistance regardless of what was causing the pain.

We checked into OB triage around 11pm and got all hooked up to the monitors again.  Within minutes, it registered a contraction of 11 on a scale of 1 to 12.  Not what we wanted to see, but I have to admit feeling a tiny bit of vindication that the pain wasn't all in my head.   We were seen by the same doctor who diagnosed our SCH.  This time we got a different type of shocking news as he kept his usual poker face on during my internal....I was dilated 3-4cm and he could feel the baby's head.  R and I looked at each other with an "oh shit" expression.

They admitted us to L&D and though they weren't getting any closer together, I was exhausted and opted for an epidural at 3am.  The back labor was probably one of the worst parts...the contractions still felt like really bad intestinal pain.   The epi wasn't really painful at all, but the numbing meds did sting a little.  Then it was just an odd pressure on my back until the meds kicked.  I was able to move my legs and was really only numb around the hip area.

They checked me again around 7am this morning and I was 4cm and 100% effaced and baby was in -2 position.   It is a little after 1pm now, and the contractions have stayed spaced out and irregular, so they turned off my epidural about 45 minutes ago to see what happens. If they stay infrequent and manageable for me, they'll move me upstairs to a pre-natal floor and monitor me there. Ideally we are hoping contractions stop altogether and they can send me home at 35 weeks on Thursday....I assume on strict bedrest. This close to 35 weeks they don't do anything to stop labor, but they also don't do anything to assist progression. 3 days ago I would have received steroid shots, but there is not enough medical data out there yet for them to give it to me now. We did opt to be included in a medical study on steroid use for late pre-term babies, but we don't know if we were assigned the placebo or the actual drug.


We are doing okay for now...feeling a little like a deer in headlights because we've barely started organizing anything. We do have plenty of friends and family locally though, so I know we can get it sorted out.

Little trip to L&D

Yesterday R and I were running some errands and I noticed that my hands were suddenly a lot more puffy than I've ever noticed before. I'd been dealing with ankle/leg swelling for a while, but this concerned me enough that we stopped by a Rite Aid and took the free BP test there. First time was 144/88. Not good. We sat down and waited a few minutes (and DH checked his to make sure it was a machine problem) and did it again...154/84. So we called the on call doctor and as I expected, we were sent in for monitoring.

At 34 weeks, I didn't think I'd be seeing those rooms before the big day.  Even though we are in a much better spot pregnancy wise than we were 24 weeks ago, physically been in the same place again carried some pretty strong memories.  Though the first nurse called me back pretty quickly, my pulse was up to 121 when she did the initial evaluation.   She asked if I was nervous and I just gave her a look and said a trip to L&D isn't exactly a calming experience.   I don't remember my exact starting BP numbers in triage, but oddly enough...there was a huge variation between my right and left arms...which the nurse said was normal. My OB always used my right arm, which was 125/60something, while my left was still at 144ish/80something.


After 3 hours everything was back to normal ranges, but my bloodwork showed something with my liver was borderline, so I need repeat BW on Wed, and though the quick urine test (I'm guessing a dip test?) came back clear...the more detailed test showed a little protein, so I get to do a 24 hour urine catch this week. Thankfully they told me I was fine to wait until Tuesday to do it, so I don't have to confine myself to the house for memorial day. I have my monthly MFM u/s Tuesday morning, so we'll get a new estimate on LO's size and Friday I have my OB appointment to discuss delivery options and I should have all these test results by then.

Baby shower!

My shower was on Sunday.  I knew the date and location, but the details were mostly a surprise.  Everything turned out great and I think everyone had fun.   It was almost a bust though.  Ok, not really...but remember those super cute shoes I fell in love with back in Feb?  Yeah, well....I made the mistake of not trying them on again until Saturday.  My poor feet were so puffy I almost couldn't get them on.  I am a shoe person.  Though I've refrained from any other shoe purchases while pregnant, I couldn't resist those and my whole outfit was planned around them, because sometimes, it is all about the shoes.   All was good though, I kept my feet up as much as I could Saturday and slept with 3 pillows under them.  Totally worth it and I got several compliments on them.

We got a lot of great stuff, which I'm now facing the overwhelming task of finding a place for.  R cleaned out half a kitchen cabinet to make room for bottles and such.  Nursery furniture still isn't in, so right now things are just shoved in baskets in the closet.   I am proud to say I've already knocked out a bunch of thank you notes.  Unlike a bridal shower, it is a bit easier to write them when you can actually open and put away/organize what you got, rather than following proper etiquette and waiting until the wedding is over.  I did figure out quite quickly that I needed the gifts in front of me to write out the notes, because even with a gift list written as I opened things....it was so confusing remembering who gave what.  Because it isn't just Aunt A gave us sheets...it is noting whether it was crib sheets, bassinet sheets, pack n play sheets....how I'll keep them all straight I don't know.  And trying to cross check with the registry is always fun.  Babies R Us didn't update half of the stuff that was bought of it (I have gift receipts with my registry #, so I know it wasn't user error) and then there are the mystery gifts.  I had a few of these from my wedding as well.  Gifts that were bought off the registry and never given.  How long do you wait until just buying another yourself?  We could be needing that diaper genie in as little as 5 weeks.   R and I plan on waiting until mid June to allow time for work showers before tackling the clothing inventory and shopping to fill the gaps.

Relaxing before gifts (please note the shoes!)

Fabulously delicious cake.

Is it working yet? (32 weeks)

This time I can blame the delayed post on blogger, which I discovered was crapped out right after uploading my pictures to my work computer on Friday.   I suppose it is a good thing, because the weekend gave me some time to be relax and get back to being much more upbeat than I was feeling Friday.  Last week was rough.  Not compared to my SCH issues, but definitely worse than anything since that resolved.

Mother's Day weekend was pretty good.  I made it to a neighbor's Kentucky Derby party and lasted, mostly on my feet, until about 9:30.  Then on Sunday we went to annual steeplechase and tailgate event that we've gone to every year (R proposed there in 2006) and had fantastic weather.  I rocked the pink dress in the picture below and even had strangers complimenting me for being out there while pregnant.  

I took Monday as a sick day just to get some stuff done, and after that my week tanked.   Tuesday and Wednesday I had Braxton's Hicks that were so painful I finally called the doctor, who said that was pretty normal and as long as they went away when I changed position not worry.  So, good that it was normal...not much help because they were the worst while stuck in rush hour traffic.  The other big problem I'm having is swelling.  Being stuck at a desk all day makes my ankles blow up, and it only gets worse as the week goes on.  I was wearing Adidas flipflops by Thursday because nothing else fit.   Thankfully, they are much better on the weekends, so I'm still getting a break.  My OB has yet to see them at their worst though, so we'll see what she says on Friday.

I started painting the name letters, and I must say, they look pretty damn awesome.  When they are done I'll devote a post to what I did, because I have had a few minor glitches.  So far I've tackled the two letters that get stripes, and R painted the 2 that are solid colors.  Next up....polka dots.  

Aw...hiccups!!

Yesterday he had his first round of hiccups! (or at least the first that I've felt).  As I was driving home I felt these odd little kicks in the exact same spot, coupled with what felt like small cervix punches.  I figured out that he was hiccuping, kicking my ribs and sending his head into my cervix....he only had 6 or 7 but it was so cute.   He got them again while we were watching TV and I could just barely see them from the outside.  Then I started feeling bad for him because he woke up and didn't seem very happy with his current condition.  Poor guy...at least they only lasted 5 minutes or so.

Yesterday our wooden name letters came.   I was going back and forth whether I was ready to commit to one name before he was born, but I decided to go ahead and take the risk.   Still undecided as to whether I will share it here yet.  I know at least 2 people I know IRL read, or at least have found, this blog and we aren't making name announcements to everyone until after he is born.  Hell, my co-workers and some friends don't even know we are having a boy.   Anyway....the letters are here so I plan to start painting them in the next week or so.   My other project is painting 3 small pictures to match this lamp R had as a child (have I said that already?...I can't remember).  I'll post pictures of the lamp and the paintings when I'm done and I know I still need to post nursery pictures.  Hopefully the furniture will arrive soon...I think the timeframe was mid-May to mid-June.

I don't have my 31 week bump pic yet...we have a Derby party on Saturday so I figured I'd just get one then.  Here are the last 3 weeks though.

may need to consider a scheduled c-section

I had my monthly u/s with the MFM doc. today.   Everything looked good, but the tech kept going back and measuring the belly.  Finally she asked if I'd passed my GD test, because his abdomen was measuring ahead by quite a bit.  I said I had, and that they told me if they didn't call it meant I'd passed.  I asked if everything else was measuring ahead too, since he'd been about 2 weeks ahead since 20 weeks.  He was still 2 weeks ahead in general, but his abdomen was in the 93rd percentile, whereas everything else was above the 50th percentile.   So naturally I start wondering if my GD results were somehow lost, but I had my OB appointment a few hours later and was told I passed with flying colors.

The mid-wife did express some concern when I mentioned the u/s measurements...and that baby has an estimated weight of 4.9lbs!!   She said that shoulder size usually correlates with abdominal size, and the doctor would discuss the possibility of scheduling a c-section at my 34 or 36 week appointment.

My "birth plan" has always been whatever is best for me and the baby, whether that be natural, medicated or c-section, but at this point in my pregnancy, I didn't think I'd need to be choosing one over the other before I was actually in labor.   I really have mixed emotions about choosing a c-section.  I know I don't want a 22hr labor and then an emergency c/s, but I'd like the chance to do it without major surgery.   I admit most of my immediate reasons for not wanting a c/s are vain and selfish....mainly extended recovery time, not being able to resume normal activity right away and start working off the baby weight (yes, I realize that last part is highly delusional).  On the other hand, just the word episiotomy scares me.   So I guess I'll do some research and see what the next few weeks bring.  I think it is safe to say I'm tossing out any thoughts of natural birth!

We did get to see his face today...and we got a smile!  He was practicing smiling and frowning.   I think he may have my mouth.

Pictures.

I have more to add, but here is a start!

Our room, so breezy and peaceful!

The one day I was brave enough to give the belly a little sun (seemed to make a linea nigra appear so I kept it covered the rest of the week).  Secret Harbor, St. Thomas.

"Main Street" on Jost Van Dyke.  One of those little buildings is customs, boats are supposed to dock and check in on a good faith basis.

The Catamaran we took our day sail on, and White Bay, Jost.

 Dressed up for dinner...taken in the Italian gardens at the place we stayed. 

 Love this photo that R took.   I think this was in Maho Bay, St. John.

A little hard to see since he was stirring up sand, but a sea ray in Maho Bay.

  The reef at Coki Beach, St. Thomas.  People could feed the fish here, so they'd actually swim up to you!

Back from vacation!

St. Thomas was fabulous and all in all, I did pretty well physically.   Of course, it was HOT...but there wasn't much humidity so the shade and/or water provided substantial relief.   If you are friends with me on facebook, I've already uploaded a bunch of pictures, but I'll add a long picture post here in the next few days.   I am pleased to say I have an amazing tan now.

Most of the trip was without problems, except of course for a few travel glitches. We left for the airport at 4am Monday morning for a 6am flight.  I wasn't nervous about flying, but I wasn't really sure what to expect either, so I was not prepared for what came next.   About an hour into the 2.5 hour flight I started getting hot flashes, so I took off my hoodie and that helped for maybe 30 minutes.  Then they came back full force accompanied by sudden nausea....yep, air sickness.  I've never been air sick in my life and I seriously thought I was going to throw up right there in the middle seat.   I made it to the bathroom and felt a little better.  I had R dig out the seabands I packed, cranked up the air gauge above my seat and made it through the rest of the flight without incident.   I think it was the first time ever I was a little grateful for a 1 hour delay, giving me a little extra time on the ground in Miami.  Luckily the 2nd leg of the trip and our return were not a problem.

While in Miami, we found out that our friends, flying in from Boston and meeting us at the airport in St. T, wouldn't be making it down until Tuesday, because their flight had been canceled (turns out that mechanical failure was also the cause for our delay).  So it was just R and I that first night and the next day, which actually ended up being really nice because we had some time to unwind without being swept up right away in group plans (there were a total of 7 people eventually).

Over the course of the week we made it to St. John twice, visiting Maho Bay, Cinnamon Bay, Honeymoon Bay, and Trunk Bay.   We took a daysail to Jost Van Dyke, which was absolutely beautiful, but don't go there on or near a holiday weekend, because White Bay becomes party central for everyone in Puerto Rico who wants to enter the BVIs illegally (when I post a pic of "main street", you'll see why it is a prime choice for skipping customs).   We got in plenty of swimming and snorkeling though, and saw tons of fish, sea turtles, rays, and even a school of squid!   The only thing we didn't do was make it over to St. Croix.  Between the cost ($90 round trip) and schedule of the ferry, we decided it wasn't the time to do it because I wouldn't last a full day on the island.

I think might also have a future beach bum on our hands.  It is hard to distinguish movement while swimming, but as soon as I'd settle down on the beach he'd go nuts.

28 weeks!!

Good news, the emotional crazies are not here stay.  After crying at the drop of a hat for the first 5 days of 3rd tri, yesterday I felt back to normal.   Not sure what exactly all that was about, but I'll blame R's fishing trip this weekend for most of it.  ;)

3 more days until we leave for St. Thomas.   My mind checked out around mid-afternoon yesterday...I am so ready to be down there!   I still have to pack, but I've got my assortment of cute dresses and shorts all ready to go.   The only daunting task that remains is attempting to find a strapless bra.  Yeah...not looking forward to that.   The amount of side-boob I've acquired is just ridiculous, so I may end up having to choose between the saggy boob look and the stuffed sausage look for a few of these tops/dresses.   I don't think we'll be paying for maternity photos, so I've been hoping someone can get a few nice pictures while we are down there.  That is all I really need.   And what better backdrops than these?

Hello 3rd Trimester!!

Once again I've been slacking, I'm now 27 weeks and 4 days, so last week was the start of 3rd tri.   Friday I had my glucose tolerance test and all I can is that people are freaking pansies, because it wasn't that bad.  It tasted like flat orange soda with extra sugar in it.  The worst part, naturally, was getting my blood drawn because even with all that extra blood flow....my veins still suck.  At least she only had to stick me once and the vials they took were teensy tiny so it was over before I knew it.   They said they'd call with results only if there was a problem.

So it would appear that 3rd tri has brought along a few sudden changes.   If "nesting" = "OMG I can't shut my brain off ever", then that has started.  Our house is in pretty good shape...at least until the baby stuff start really pouring in, so instead I've gone into panic overdrive about the conditions of the grandparents houses.   My mother-in-law smokes...so we have one house full of 2nd and 3rd hand smoke.  My parents are borderline hoarders.  Not in that TLC show way, more in the too many family heirlooms that we really don't need along with every piece of artwork/toy I've owned stashed in the attic kind of way.   Seriously...I know we have a while, but it is far from child proof.   So my focus over the next few months will be getting rid of as much stuff as I can.   There isn't much I can do about the smokey house except limit our time there...but that in and of itself is a stressful issue.

Also, while it could be the above stress combined with fast approaching major travel, the irrational emotions have arrived as well.  The littlest things will send me into tears now.  Yesterday I asked R which suitcases we were taking now that he had borrowed the extra big one from his parents.  He got short with me and said he'd already told me this 3 times.  That resulted in a good 15 minutes of tears.  

Hopefully once we are in St. Thomas I can slow my mind down and just relax, because I feel like I did back when I was on Adderall for ADD.  Its not fun.

On a good note, my bump did not continue its major growth spurt...if anything, I think it might be a little smaller than my 26 week pic.

Baby/kid resale events.

On Saturday a friend and I decided we'd check out this huge resale event held by a Moms of Multiples club at a local school.  The sale was from 9-12 so I figured we'd go around 9:30.   Friday evening I talked to my neighbor, who is a garage sale pro, and she told me if we had anything specific we were looking for we had better get there early....like before the doors opened early.  She hadn't been to this exact one before, but the last big one she attended had a line halfway around the building.   So we adjusted our plans and decided to meet at 7:30am.

As soon as I pulled on to the road where the school was located, I was cut off by about 3 minivans in a row.  I laughed to myself that they must be headed to the sale....yeah, they were.   The whole parking lot was full of minivans and trucks and there was already a line of at least 100.   These people do not joke around...I even saw one with her own rolling storage cart thing.

So the doors opened at 8 and by the time we got back to the room with the big stuff it looked like a scene from the running of the brides event.  People pushing stuff aside, grabbing things practically out from under others...we just sort of stood there and stared for a minute.  We looked over a few things, but most of it was toys so we didn't spend much time in that section and headed to the clothing room.   Luckily the maternity section wasn't as much of a zoo and I got two cute tops and a pair of pants for $15.   I wasn't planning on buying any baby clothes yet, but I saw this outfit on a rack and just fell in love with it.  It is 3-6 months, so it may not fit until the end of summer/september...but he has his first swimsuit!!

The little wooden train is a toy that R had as a child and will be in the nursery.

26 weeks!

So I just wrote out a quick update and posted it....to the wrong blog.  No idea how that happened, but I added it to a group Infertility blog that has been inactive for close to a year.  I suppose that part is good, because otherwise that would have been reaaallly awkward with the belly shots and blantant pregnancy AW.

Anyway, no nursery pics yet...due to lack of good natural lighting in the evening we decided to do the rest of the painting this afternoon (or now weekend since it is dark and rainy today).   So this post will be pretty short, sadly I have a funeral for R's great uncle this afternoon.  It was reason enough to break out my first maternity dress outfit though, which actually looks really cute.

Look, the first time my knees have seen daylight in public since last October!

And the belly shot.  I'm not sure if it is the dress or that I've really grown, but I really look pregnant today!

down to double digits!!

99 days left!!!

The nursery is almost done.  When I say done, I mean the painting is almost finished.  I don't expect to have any furniture in there until late May or possibly even June.   We did buy a glider this past weekend.  We went to several furniture stores with the idea that buying a good glider from them would be better so it could eventually transition into a family room.  Turns out, at least in this area, Dutailier still holds the corner on the glider market no matter what store you go in.  So we decided to just look at the ones they had in Babies R Us, so at the very least I'd know which models we didn't want when I checked online.   We ended up going with this glider:


It seemed just as well made and sturdy as similar models in the regular furniture stores and the in stock fabric was something I liked.  Maybe the finish won't hold up super long, but I think we got a pretty good deal.

25 weeks

Overall I'm feeling pretty good, but sleep sure has been alluding me this week.  I'm not sure what it is that has suddenly changed, but I can't even roll over at night without feeling like I need to get up to go to the bathroom.   I even called the nurse to get checked for a UTI just in case because I had some lower ab discomfort last weekend too, but I haven't heard anything so I assume that is fine.  I'm pretty sure the cramps were just growing pains, but I'm not really bigger.

This past weekend we moved the last of the stuff out of the room that is to be the nursery and started repainting the closet doors.  We are hopefully going to get the first coat of wall paint done this weekend, but I doubt we'll get to the second part (high gloss stripes of the same color).  We settled on Valspar River Mist for the color...not too aqua, but at the same time not too baby blue either.

R is becoming a Craig's list junkie...he has been forwarding me links to giant baby garage sales.  There is one tomorrow that I might check out (not just baby stuff though), and really extensive one next weekend that I plan on checking out with my friend.  Hopefully I can find some nice spring maternity pants, because I don't really have anything in my loaner stash that fits yet.  And I think I've said before, I prefer the full panel style over the under belly ones, particularly now that I'm bigger.  It just gets really uncomfortable to sit with this heavy elastic band pushing on your lower belly.


Only 4 more days until I hit double digits!  35/35 is going to be here before I know it.  Also only a few more days until I am supposed to submit my notice of resignation intent at work....and come clean to the rest of my co-workers.  I am amazed the nosy secretary hasn't said anything yet.  It will be interesting to see if they are surprised or not.

24 weeks! Viability!

We made it!  24 weeks is has been the big milestone all along.  The next milestone is getting to full term.  From here on out, we have a chance if this little guy decides to come early and every week means a stronger baby.  Only 3 weeks left until 3rd trimester!

So I think the belly is really starting to grow out rather than just up.  Since my growth has been so gradual, I don't realize all the time how much I've really grown:

 

And to think I felt bloated and huge at 12 weeks.  Ha!

Movement is starting to get crazy now.  Those little feet are still almost always up under my right ribs (at least it feels that way).  Last night R was even able to feel his first cluster of kicks, rather than one that was over before he even realized what he was feeling.   Seeing it from the outside never ceases to amaze me.  Even though I feel him so much on the inside, somehow being able to see my belly move and know it is my baby on the other side making that happen is just so much more real.   Pretty soon I think I be at the lopsided bump phase depending on where he is positioned.  I felt my first slow roll from the outside the other morning.  I couldn't tell if it was a head or a butt, but this little lump pushed its way across my side.   Last night before bed I felt an elbow (?) slowly move up my belly.

I think I may have had some Braxton Hicks, but I don't know what they feel like, so I'm not sure.  It usually happens once or twice when I'm walking for exercise, and then recently it is happened at random times even when resting.  It feels like a tight fist in my lower abdomen, but the rest of my uterus doesn't feel hard at all, so I wonder if it is just baby curling into a little ball down there.  It isn't painful, at the worst it feels like when your bladder is too full.  I'll mention when I talk to the nurse tonight (part of a healthy start program through my insurance, I get weekly calls from a nurse now to check up on me and answer any questions) but I'm not concerned.

My next u/s is in about 2 and half weeks, and I get to have my 1 hour glucose test on April 8th.  I'm pretty sure I'm fine.  With a diabetic sister and a diabetic cat, I could certainly test myself if I felt like it, but it still wouldn't save me from that nasty glucola.  After all the crap I've been through in the past two years, I'm pretty sure it won't be that bad.

Happy St. Patricks Day!!

Fetal echo went well!

And I'd like to introduce the sweetest face in the whole world.

The MFM doctor turned on the 4D feature at the end of our scan.  He is absolutely adorable (and that little hand is still up by the head!).

Everything looked great, I learned some new things, and baby is definitely a boy. He is measuring 24w4days and weighs about 1lb7oz!! Chances are I will end up having a June baby, with an adjusted uterine age EDD of 6/28, but my true EDD is still 7/7 because while baby is bigger, he isn't actually older.


They took all the heart measurements first...HB was around 135 because he was napping. That took up the majority of the appt. The nurse was very nice and explained beforehand that it would take awhile and not to be concerned if she got quiet because she would have to do a lot of concentrating to get the right measurements.  Honestly, by 45 minutes into it, I was almost bored.  Most of the screenshots were close ups of ventricles, arteries, heart chambers, etc., so I couldn't even see baby moving around while she measured.

They did a cervical length check since I had a history of uterine abnormality (septum removal). The first thing I noticed was this odd looking black ball in what looked like the middle of my cervix. The tech said it was probably a contraction, but she'd bring in the doctor to be sure. I could see where the cervix still looked long and closed, so I wasn't freaking out, but it certainly was a bit disconcerting. The doctor explained (complete with hand drawn diagram) that the "ball" was really an empty pocket of the uterus caused by two focal contractions, which are localized muscle spasms in the uterus often caused by too much poking and prodding. When these happen during an u/s, they can look just like fibroids as the muscle is all knotted up.  I just happened to have them in mirrored spots on either side of my cervix, making it look like part of the cervix. These can occur anywhere in the uterus and aren't anything to worry about.

Final SCH update!!:
Before she finished up the abdominal scan I asked her to check my SCH and it is officially gone!! She looked, I looked while she scanned, and the doctor came in to look. The sack and the uterine walls were well defined and looked great, so in the dr's words, I'm "just normal" now. Yay!  Such a relief to know that I don't have worry about anything shifting.  I've spent so much of this pregnancy being abnormal/high-risk, I don't even know what normal pregnancy rules are like.  At least I know I will be free to swim in St. Thomas!  I have a regular OB appt on Friday, where of course I will be sure to get an "all clear" first, but it will be nice to be able to push myself a little in the regular activity department.

slacking on the blogging (22 weeks!)

So I'm about 4 days late with my weekly update post, but I accomplished a lot in the meantime!

- Signed up for birthing/labor class
- Scheduled appt. with home nurse for pre-term labor education (free service from Aetna)
- Started the registration process for cord blood donation
- Set up registries at Babies R Us (BRU) and Target

Registering has been a major headache, but to start my saga off on a good note, someone bought my Pack N Play already!  I've only had these set up for 2 days and something is already bought.   I am so excited!   Here it is...Graco Kinsley from Target.

Love the pattern.  It took me forever (okay, a week of constant searching) to find a pattern I liked that included the PnP, carseat, swing, and high chair....or at the very least the infant car seat and PnP.  Originally I fell in love with Graco's Broadstreet pattern, but naturally it was being discontinued when I started seriously considering what to register for about a week ago.  So I searched the car seats on Graco's site, checked out the patterns available at BRU and was about to settle for a pattern with a slightly heavier carrier than we originally wanted (Snugride 35 vs regular Snugride) when I searched under the Pack n Plays on Graco's site and found the one above.  It does come with the full travel system as opposed to just the carrier, but the stroller is pretty easy to fold and will be nice when we do want something a little heavier duty that the Graco carrier frame I am also registered for.    Of course, moments after swearing to my mother I wouldn't be caught dead registering at Target, I discovered this pattern was only available there...so I ate my words and registered at the store from hell.  I'm keeping my registry there fairly small, and just hoping that everyone includes a gift receipt if they buy off registry or online because Target only allows up to $70 of returned merchandise within one calendar year...so if I get 2 of a larger item by accident (because they are notorious for screwing that up too) I'm stuck.  That pattern is totally worth the risk though.

And here is my 22 week bump pic from a horrible angle, but I didn't feel like a re-take. 

Tomorrow is our fetal echo.  I can't wait to see our little guy again.

Saw movement!

That's right, I saw it!  I was resting on my bed for a few minutes and I could see my belly move when he kicked!  It was the neatest moment.  I called R over but of course baby had stopped the higher up kicks.  Poor guy.  One of these days we'll time things right so he can feel/see them.

21 weeks

I got my first stranger comment today!  In the elevator at work I was asked when I was due and then told I look great for someone due in July!  That totally made my day.  So I guess I am really starting to look pregnant to everyone now, hello belly:

I still think I am a bit on the small side belly-wise, but I'm pretty sure baby is well ahead of the curve.  My baby books say my uterus is now 3/4 of an inch above my belly button.  I assume they mean the top of the uterus, but this little guy is kicking me a few inches above it, or at least it feels that way.  Once or twice when I've been sitting a little hunched over I swear he's gotten a rib.  This afternoon I was able to feel a few outside kicks while resting my hand on top of my belly.  It was the coolest feeling.  I'm hoping R can feel him soon. 

And an all things shopping update.  I tried on my Victoria's Secret tankini top from last summer...that was a sad mistake and made me feel like a flabby fat guy with a beer gut.  So I took a chance and ordered a maternity suit online.  I searched everywhere for something that wasn't frumpy or a blinding pattern and finally found this site.  Here is my suit, which actually looks pretty cute on!

The top may not last me through the summer, but the next size up would have left the bottoms falling off me.   I also discovered that ebay is quite helpful when looking for summer maternity clothes in February.  I bought  a cute sundress brand new from Motherhood maternity for only $14 including shipping.  We'll see if my sizing luck continues.

And finally, I ordered our first pack of diapers from Amazon.  While at the dentist the other day, I managed to score two 20% off coupons out of the Feb. and Mar issues of Parenting mag. they had.  Though they say only one per customer, if the codes start with YT and YJ you can combine both on one order.  Also, if you sign up for subscribe & save through Amazon Mom, you save another 30%.  So I got a pack of Pampers that was originally $41 for $12.  Score!

Bought our crib!

Since we were both too sick to make it out shopping this past weekend, we went out last night and took advantage of the last day of a President's Day sale.  Good thing we did too, because aside from saving some money, delivery time can be up to 4 months!  Thats about all I've got left.

We went with the Munire Bristol crib that I originally fell in love with.  R had some doubts about it being suitable for a boy, but we have decided that this crib will move on to the next baby, so buying one with just this child in mind didn't make much sense.  We did debate going with a Ragazzi set though that was on the floor.
From the Pompei collection:

Ultimately I decided I liked the rounded corners of the Munire one better, so this is our crib.

We also bought the toddler rails and adult conversion kits, as well as a 6 drawer dresser.  Of course, on the drive home it occurred to me that we forgot to order a mattress, but I'm pretty sure I can find a better deal for one online somewhere.

Being sick sucks.

And it really sucks when you are pregnant, for a multitude of reasons.  Lets go over a few

1. You can't take any of the good meds, not that the over the counter crap works anyway.

2. You can't sleep on your back so you can breathe at night...instead you wake up contantly with a severly dry and painful throat.

3. You pee yourself when you sneeze, despite doing a ton of kegels.  Not every time, but when your on sneeze #5 in a row or are in an odd postion (like sleeping on your side w/ a pillow between your legs) you're done.

4.  Both coughing and sneezing make your already stretched out abdominal muscles hurt more, adding injury to insult after you've just peed yourself a little.

5.  You have be on top of your temperature like white on rice, because if it gets over 101, its off to the doctor/L&D.


So yeah, that horrid cold I had is turning into a force to be reckoned with, and R has it too.  So far my temperature hasn't gone above 99.5, but I've been taking Tylenol when it gets up there.  R's is up over 100, even with the "good" meds/Tylenol.  Needless to say, we will both be calling our doctors tomorrow.

20 weeks - halfway there!

We are halfway through the pregnancy!!  Possible even more since this little one was measuring a week and a half ahead at the anatomy scan.  Can you believe I only have 7 weeks left until 3rd tri?  I sure can't.  I'd like to say that the next few weeks will go nice and slow, but I have a feeling they will be gone in a flash too.  R is likely traveling to Texas for week long work trip in April...right before we leave for St. Thomas, so we are shortening our nursery prep timeframe.  Not sure that is even possible, but hopefully we can take advantage of some President's Day sales and get our crib ordered this weekend.

Aside from a nasty cold that is currently kicking my ass, I've been feeling pretty good.  My sciatica pain is much, much better, so now I'm just left with normal pregnancy pains.  I'm hoping to start some easy yoga and prenatal workouts soon.

My sleep is gone again.

I think I've seen the last of halfway decent nights of sleep.   This past weekend we were visiting friends, and though I have no shame and hauled my huge pregnancy pillow with me, I rarely sleep well when I'm not in my own bed.  I figured I'd catch up on sleep once we were home.  Yeah....not so much.  It would seem that I've passed that blissful window of time in pregnancy where you only have to get up to pee 2-3 times a night.  I swear I'm back to bathroom trips every hour.  Last night I was up at 11:15 (45 minutes after getting in bed), 12, 1am, 2am, and finally 3:30am.  I think I might have to take my one baby book's suggestion of stopping/reducing fluid intake after 6pm because this is just ridiculous.

We told both our parents this weekend that we are having a little boy.  MIL was the most excited I've seen her all pregnancy.  She said she'd been hoping it was a boy because R had always wanted a little brother growing up.   My parents were very happy too, but I think my mom may have wanted it to be a surprise.  Oh well.

On a somewhat unrelated note, I saw these shoes in a Nordstrom catalogue while at my parents last night and fell in love with them.  I rarely buy shoes online, but it didn't look like they were available in store anywhere near me, so I found a website with free shipping and free returns (http://www.endless.com/) and bought them on a whim.  I have been very good about not buying any shoes while pregnant in case my feet grow but I just had to take the risk.   I'm validating myself by saying they'll make the most perfect shoes to wear to a baby shower!

It would appear...

that some of my readers have much better intuition than R or I because.....

We were totally shocked because we were both so sure we were having a girl....and at no point during our u/s did we see anything that told us otherwise so that tech was really good at hiding it.   I really haven't even seriously looked at any boy names yet.  So exciting!

***Nothing on facebook please since we aren't sure if we will be telling everyone!***

anatomy scan is complete!

Everything looked great at our anatomy scan.  I was not prepared for how hard the tech had to push to get some of the right angles for measurement, but in the end she got everything except the fingers.  Little baby just didn't want to open up those little fists...so they will check them again at our fetal echo on March 8.  They checked the cord, the brain, did quite few heart measurements....all looked good.   There was one point when she measured the nuchal fold at 3.2 that I got a bit concerned, but logic told me there were different cut-offs for the NT vs. the anatomy scan and I was right.  The nurse said the cut-off for a 1st tri scan is 3, but the cut-off for 2nd tri is 6, so still well within normal.  Baby was head down, so I am guessing some of the movement I've been feeling are little punches, not kicks.  

After she did all the initial measurements, she left to check the pictures with the doctor and see if he wanted a cervical length check done.  The nurse said normally they only do this if there is a uterine abnormality, and since I had a septum removal, she'd have to ask.  I was glad they did decide to do one, even if it meant being re-united once more with the dildo cam, because it is one less thing to wonder/worry about.  Cervix length was nice and long and showed no signs of opening with pressure.  She then went back and remeasured the heart, which made R really nervous because he was worried that meant there was a problem, but all was good.

The nurse saw no sign of the hematoma, which was fantastic, but questionable.  When the doctor came in after the nurse was done, he did a quick scan himself and we did see the upper area that was sealed off.  It is thoroughly sealed off at this point though and poses no threat to the baby.  The lower part is gone, so aside from maybe some minor spotting/bleeding, I'm good to go for now.  I'll call my OB sometime this week to check about pelvic rest and restrictions.

And finally, I am afraid I must keep you all waiting a little bit longer on the sex of our baby.  We had the nurse write the sex down on a card they have just for that and seal it in an envelope.  We will open it either tonight or  tomorrow night at an early Valentine's Day dinner.  R suggested the idea, and since I was getting more and more nervous about the anatomy part, it seemed like a better way to find out than in a darkened scan room while possibly learning so much other info.  I promise to update tomorrow or Sunday!

19 weeks

T minus one week until I'm halfway there!  Tomorrow we will find out whether we are expecting a little boy or a little girl.  I am trying not to be nervous for the anatomy scan, but good lord, there is so much that can still be wrong.  I'm telling myself that since I had a fairly comprehensive scan at 15 weeks, I'm less likely to get shocking news than someone who hasn't had a scan since 11-12 weeks, but that evil little voice in the back of my mind is still rattling off the "what ifs".

Can't say I feel much different than last week, and I'm pretty sure I don't look different either.  Earlier this week I felt huge, and even my physical therapist commented that it looked like I'd popped.  But this morning I didn't feel any bigger at all, and if I sucked the belly in a stranger wouldn't even give it a second glance.  

Not the greatest picture...R was on the phone when he took it and I had to run out the door to work.  This weekend we are heading down to DC to visit friends.  It will be my first trip of any sort since 6 weeks and it will be nice to get away for a bit.  Next weekend I think we are going to hope for some President's Day sales and go crib shopping!  We aren't planning on making any other major nursery decisions until late March (I've been staring at paint swatches for almost 2 weeks now though...that will get a special post later I'm sure) but I don't know how long some delivery times can take and we'd like the nursery basics done by the time we leave for St. Thomas in April.  That will leave May and June for organizing shower gifts, finding a pediatrician, and all the other stuff that I haven't thought about yet.

SCH:

We'll see what tomorrow shows, but *fingers crossed* I haven't had anything but tinged CM since Sunday.  That is longest I've gone since this all started without at least obvious spotting, so I'm really hoping it is a continuing trend.  The OB at my appt. on Monday said not to be surprised if it still wasn't resolved, but I had told I was still having spotting since I assumed this lull was short lived.  Either way, she didn't seem concerned and said she saw no reason why we couldn't travel to St. T in April.