refilled my BCPs

Even though it is part of moving on with IVF, it feels like a giant step backwards.  Two months of not TTC...no charting, no OPKs, no timing sex....and no hope of not needing IVF afterall.  My only saving grace right now is that we are leaving for vacation on Friday and will be gone for two weeks.  By the time I get back we will be busy scheduling my sonohysterogram (yes, I need another one....they prefer every six months actually) and checking with our insurance to see if I can switch over without lapse of coverage.  Then the many pre-IVF appointments will begin and before I know it, I'll be pumping my body full of uncomfortable hormone drugs again.   I think it would have been easier back in June, when I was closer to my IUI cycles and the regular pattern of appointments and medications.  Now that I've had a break it is going to be a little harder to get back into the full IF mindset.   I wish I could say I was excited to get this underway, but the fear and dread of everything involved is overshadowing the hope of a good outcome right now. I will do whatever I have to do to get our baby, but this is going to suck.