another bleed and home on bedrest.

Last night as I got up from my desk at work I felt another small gush.  Luckily it was much slower than Saturday's and I had time to gather the rest of my stuff and head to the bathroom (remember my car is still in the shop, and so is my office key, so I didn't want to risk being locked out without my things).  I passed another small clot, about the size the ER doctor said I'd pass.  I wasn't panicked, more inconvenienced and worried that it would get worse, so I tried calling my OB's afterhours line.  What a clusterfuck.  I had to push option #2 at least 4 times until it actually put me through to the physician on call, who of course wasn't available and then it started asking for a 10 digit code.  WTF.   Thank god for my RE's office, who has a real person answering the phone at all times, and the regular nurses there until 6.  I spoke to a nurse and she offered to wait for us and do a scan.  I love those guys so much...I know they stayed late just for me.  Baby stills look good and super active.  I had another slightly larger gush as I got out of the car at the doctors.  So glad I made DH swipe a few of the diaper sized pads from the ER, because my pants and my winter coat would have been done in without one.

Anyway, the bleed area had changed shape since Monday, and most of the active bleed was shifting directly toward my cervix, so the nurse decided that I should stay home from work until next week's appointment, in hopes that we can get this thing healed over and on its way to reabsorption.   They didn't seem any more concerned than before and I am doing okay today.  Last night was rough though.  I passed two more small clots and generally felt like crap.  I always swore that I'd never say I didn't like being pregnant, but I definitely hit a low point last night as I tried to fall asleep.  I never expected easy, but I didn't expect it to be this hard emotionally and physically this early.  I think the tipping point is that I don't have a timeframe or point to work toward that is in the near future.  2nd tri won't necessarily change any of this, and that is no fun at all, but at least I'll be that much closer to having an outside baby.