Final beta.

My beta is now negative and progesterone is down to 1.4. My chemical pregnancy is officially over. I don't know whether to cry or be hopeful about trying again. I am reposting the poem from which this blog is named,

Pain has an element of blank;
It cannot recollect
When it began, or if there was
A time when it was not.
It has no future but itself,
Its infinite realms contain
Its past, enlightened to perceive
New periods of pain.

I can't ever go back to just hoping for that BFP. Two lines will always instill sudden fear in me...or perhaps I will feel nothing? Certainly not the simple joy of finding out you are pregnant. Nothing is simple anymore. I don't think that can ever be undone.