b/w + small veins = ouch

I had my cd3 b/w, and my veins didn't want to cooperate at all. She couldn't find a vein at all in my left arm, so she tried the right and it took several minutes to find anything. I joked that I should have gone running before the appointment. My poor arm now has a bruise even though she used the smallest needle possible.

Even though my appointment was at 7:30, right when the office opened, the place was already packed. There was one woman who looked extra scared to be there, and I couldn't help but feel grateful that I found the message boards on thebump.com. Since no one IRL knows we are having trouble, I have wonderful support and information there. I can't imagine struggling through this alone.

R had his b/w as well this morning and also dropped off his SA. I left him a voicemail asking him to find out when he should expect to hear the results, but he forget, so I guess we'll see.

Everything is scheduled

I am getting cd3 b/w done first thing tomorrow, since it can be done anywhere between cd2 and cd4. My sono is scheduled for Wednesday, Sept. 2, and the HSG is the day after that.

CD 1

AF showed this morning. At least I had a nice big temp drop this morning, so

I knew before I even got out of bed. If only all my cycles ended like that, I wouldn't have to waste pregnancy tests by testing to early. My reasoning for testing at all is this - I'd rather see that BFN and be disappointed at home, than AF show up while I somewhere like work and have to be upset then.

On a positive note, at least it AF showed two days before I expected her rather than two days later. My shortest ovulatory cycle yet - 33 days! Last cycle I was just ovulating now.

I called the nurse to schedule the b/w and tests, but of course I got her voicemail. So now I am waiting for her to get back to me. Seems like waiting is all I do lately....

11dpo and BFN

I wasn't holding out much hope for a BFP, so there was no huge crushing blow when the test was negative, but it still is depressing. And then I log on to the various message boards I frequent and there are like 5 BFP announcements. Of course I am happy for them, and I expect them on the pregnancy boards, but when they are the same dpo I am, or on an unrelated forum, it makes that BFN much harder.

So now I am waiting for AF to show and trying to guess when she will so I can figure out when I'll be missing work for all these tests. I really don't want my bosses knowing that I am having trouble TTC, but my office is very small, and two half days in one week will get noticed. How does one even approach that subject? Our director has no children and my direct boss doesn't believe in assisted reproduction. So I might end up saying something about endometriosis once I know the timeline, at least that way my boss can tell the secretaries to STFU when gossip gets too bad. I've already heard one or two comments about "several doctors appointments". Asshats.

At least R finally made the call to schedule his b/w and SA, but naturally the nurse wasn't there so he left a message. Hopefully she'll get back to him today.

2nd RE visit - u/s and b/w

Today I went back for my physical and ultrasound. At first it was pretty cool, as this was the first time I had an u/s and been able to see the screen. I asked the nurse if she could tell if I had ovulated yet, and she said she was pretty sure I had., and when she moved over to my right ovary she said it looked as though I ovulated from both sides (woot!). Then she went back to my left ovary and got a different angle, started measuring things, and asked if I had painful cycles. She said she may have been wrong about ovulation (on the left) and that it looked like I had something on my ovary and it wasn't getting any blood flow, most likely endiometrial tissue. She entered a few things on the machine and I watched as ENDOMETRIOMA appeared in big ugly yellow letters across the top of the screen.

I met with another nurse to discuss pre-natal bloodwork and go over the sono and the HSG again. She also "oh, I see they have you down for surgery as well" What?! I guess my RE went ahead and penciled that on my chart due to her concern that I probably have endometriosis, and the nurse explained that the final decision would be made when I met with the RE after the HSG and sono. So now we wait to see where this cycles takes me.

Here we go again

My temperature dropped today. I had really hoped I'd definitely be in the 2 week wait by now, but it looks like I may have another cycle of fakeouts. Yay, a whole new level of suckage.

First RE appointment

It went really well. I will say it was probably the longest appointment I've ever had. My appointment was for 2:15 and I left at 4. First I saw the nurse, who went over all the paperwork I'd filled out and asked a few basic questions. Then I met with my RE, who was really nice and actually reminded me of Tina Fey. She went over all my paper work again and asked me some more questions about my cycles, birth control history, etc. She did say she doubted PCOS was an issue because I didn't have all of the general markers (just the irregular cycles...and ::cough:: some weight gain), but that I did have symptoms that could be endometriosis. She then explained where we would go from here, and I was pleased that they are moving right into the testing rather than suggesting any drugs.

- I have one set of bloodwork to complete as soon as I can, which will be a complete metabolic panel and a lipid panel with LDL/HDL ratio (this is coming off the lab sheet).

- My next appointment is next week, 8/20/09 for an initial physical, and ultrasound. They will also go over our family history and discuss genetic testing.

-If/when AF (my period) arrives, I will call the third person I met with, our patient care specialist, and she will schedule my cd 3 bloodwork, which said can be done on cd 2, 3, or 4.

-Between cd5 and cd10 I will have a Sonohysterography (sono), which can be done in their office, and a Hysterosalpingogram (HSG) with must be in the out patient radiology department at the hospital. My RE did say that the later can be rather painful for some people and she had no problem prescribing something along the lines of Diazepam. I will also need to take antibiotics, starting two days prior to the HSG.

- I got a SA collection cup for R. The look on his face when I handed it to him when I got home was priceless. I think somehow he still thought he wouldn't have do anything until they confirmed the issue wasn't with me.

I also asked the care specialist if there is any cancellation policy if we happen to get pregnant our own this cycle. She said that of course that isn't a problem, they love when patients get pregnant on their own, but that I am now considered their patient no matter what. So if I get that BFP, I call her for bloodwork and they will monitor me through the first trimester with weekly ultrasounds! That will be a huge reassurance when I get to that point.

Overall I am very pleased and glad to have a definite plan. :)

RE appt. tomorrow

Today is my first day back to work after a nice vacation, and surprisingly, I am sitting here with very little to do (I seriously wondered if our office was closed and no one told me because I was the only one here for the first 15 minutes).
R and I filled out the paperwork for my appointment last night. I had to laugh when the second question on the genetics page was "Are you related - other than through marriage?" Um....No!

I will say that between our two family histories, what a mess we look like on paper. Cancer? Check. Diabetes? Check. Siezures? Check. Down Syndrome? Check. You get the idea. At this time we agreed that we are not going to request genetic testing, but looking at the sheet of checks, I won't be surprised if they recommend it.

I am not nervous at this point, I imagine the doc. will just go over paperwork and get us set up for S.A. and initial bloodwork. The S.A. results are what I fear the most. I have been preparing myself for problems TTC since I had all that irregular bleeding and pain the summer we were married, while still on depo. (OB said it was "wedding stress".....idiot) If something is wrong with me, I believe I can take it in stride. If R's S.A. doesn't come back normal, I fear it will be a huge crushing blow for him. I am trying not to worry about it until we actually reach that point, but we all know that it never as easy to actually do.

In other TTC news, I came back from vacation to a positive OPK! A huge thank you to Wifezzilla for sending me her extra OPKs. You are awesome, good luck with the CBEFM!
Fingers crossed that I will be in the 2 week wait by Monday.