I (he) DID IT!!!

Happy Halloween!!   C was such a little trooper tonight and I am so proud of him.  Not only did he wear the costume, but we went trick or treating around a good portion of our development.  Everyone loved the costume and he had a great time!

appt #7 - not good at all

I think today was the first time I've cried on the u/s table.  The nurse tried really hard but the best measurement she could get was 6.9, with most attempts falling between 6.5 and 6.7, with one even as low as 6.1!  They don't know why this is happening, there is a small chance my body is trying to surge despite the Ganirelix and a progesterone increase is causing it temporarily, but I took an OPK and the test line was practically nonexistent, so I doubt that is the case.  I managed to hold it together most of the way home, but then Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" came on and I lost it.   At least I was able to come home to snuggles from both R and C, who were curled up on couch watching Thomas the Train while they waited for me.

Best case scenario they push me another 2 days, worst case they trigger me tonight and it is canceled now.  So things don't look promising.  Biggest follicle is 25 and I've got almost 8 within mature range after a trigger, so we can't even say fuck it and try on our own as a last resort.    The nurse made it sound like there are plenty of other protocols out there, but really, natural FET is the only completely different protocol, other options are just variations on meds and dosages to the best of my knowledge.    I did find this article, which talks a little about treatment of thin lining.  No idea if it is a load of crap or not, but it seems relatively legit, and of those 3 causes, we've ruled out low estrogen....leaving poor blood flow and/or damaged lining.  Of course the last line in the article made me cry again.

It is still cloudy and rather cold IMO here, but I guess Trick or Treating is still on, so I promise to try my best to get C into his rooster costume for a picture, but for now....I give you his back up costume.

 

 And just because he is so adorable and I need to AW my pinterest ispiration decor:

appt #6

Rather disappointing.  I saw one of my favorite nurses, and from looking at yesterday's stats, she started talking about triggering tonight with a transfer of next Saturday which got me feeling really optimistic, but then she measured my lining and even taking extra time she only got a 6.9.  It does look better on the screen than it did for my first FET, so I am still hoping we'll see progress.  There is also an endometrial cyst in there now, but supposedly that shouldn't mess anything up and could be gone by tomorrow.   My follicles are getting a little squished now...I've got a 17, a 12, 11x17 and a 10x21.  They are hoping to push me a few more days.  Not sure what I'll be facing tomorrow, the wind is starting to pick up now and it has been raining non-stop since Saturday night.   The nurse said they'll be there though because they've got a few retrievals.  My heart goes out to those poor ladies....I can't imagine the added stress of a hurricane on top of the pressure of a fresh IVF cycle.

And finally, I am proud to report, after a tough fight with 3lbs of bloat this week, I'm within 5lbs of my goal weight.   Even if I don't see any more progress from here on out, I feel that like is so much more of an accomplishment than just being within 10lbs of my goal.

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Thankfully they are giving me tomorrow off (since we don't have to worry about follicle size too much) and I go back in Wednesday.

Appt #5

I actually had yesterday off.  I would like to say I got to sleep in, but C was awake at 4am, then again at 6am, and up for the morning at 7:20 (plus being up at 11:45...yay teething!).  So it could have been worse, but not the break I'd hoped for.  Oh well, R was thrilled because it meant he could go hunting at the assbreak of dawn.  Sooo not a morning person.

Weekends are a little different for monitoring in that there are no set appointments.  I took a little advantage of this and tried once again to sleep in, but C was up again at 6am...up for good at 7:15 (yes, I'm well aware that this is lightyears better than his 5am wakeups that were the norm from 4-7 months) so I left around 7:30 while R took care of breakfast.  The whole thing took around an hour and there were a ton more people than what I see during the week since I go in so early.   Nice thing about the weekends is the monitoring is usually done by one of the actual RE's, so I saw the other female doc in the practice.   Knowing her personality from prior experience (very good but to the point, no wasting time and pretty blunt) I didn't expect amazing results, and was pretty happy with a lining measurement of 7.11.  Right ovary is doing very little at this point, with the biggest follie about an 8.  The left is the performer this time, with a 17, a 15, 12, and 11.  Meds stayed the same and I go back in tomorrow, weather permitting.

Oh oh oh....one other thing that I just have to put out there.  Someone cycling this time through is a total MORON.  Every.single.time I've gone in, some douchebag has taken their disposable paper cover and jammed it in the basket clearly labeled cloth gowns.  Seriously, how inconsiderate or dumb can you be?

appt #4

About the same as yesterday, which I expected with the Ganirelix.  I'm still right with my measurements for my fresh cycle....same higher lining measurement, then a thinner one after the first Ganirelix shot, except my lining was a 6.7 today as opposed to 6.3 at this point with fresh.   I am starting to feel a little discomfort now and I've definitely got some bloat going on.  Trying to keep up with my harder workouts, but I think today will be it and I'll have to settle for just the elliptical for a bit.   I'm within 7lbs of my between kids goal weight so it is really hard to let go of the weight loss.

At least things still seem to be moving pretty quickly.   You'd think with a full time job the first time through and being a SAHM mom now it would be the other way around, but since I more or less fill my time with things I WANT to do, rather than miserable deadlines, this is so much better.   I'm almost done Cs costume and it looks awesome.  Bad news is, there is a slim to none chance he will let me get it on him, as he has recently decided any putting on of clothes is the end of the world.    I'm hoping R and I can tag team and get it on just long enough for a picture, but I highly doubt and actual trick or treating will occur, which is rather disappointing, but with all the talk of Hurricane Sandy barreling towards us, Halloween night may be too windy and wet anyway.

appt #3

Much better.  Same nurse as Monday and she took a little more time trying to find a thicker point to measure and got a 7.19!!  She even remeasured and was still getting around a 7.   She said measurements can vary based on differnent planes, but it looked good.    Sometimes I wish I could be one of those people that didn't need the details and could be happy with a simple "looks good", as it would probably save a lot of temporary disappointment.   The lab tech was the same one as yesterday and she is rough, but she did get the vein again so I can deal.  As I told her, I'd rather have it hurt in one arm than get stuck multiple times.  

I will probably start Ganirelix tonight.  I don't really have much discomfort, but it is amazing how much better I am responding to Follistim than the Bravelle I used for IUIs.  I didn't get any of the follie measurements today, but both ovaries had at least 3 follicles, which is a beautiful thing!

***
Starting Ganirelix, E2 is 173.5ish and I go back in tomorrow.

monitoring #2

Not great.   I went through this same thing in past cycles,  one tech gives one lining measurement, then the next appt a different tech gives a thinner one!  Today my lining was only 4.8 (hell, it could have even said 4.18, all I know is it sucked).   Follicles were right in line with what I expected...still 4-5 on the left with the biggest around a 9x10.   The nurse still said everything looked good since my E2 was still probably low, but I know its not THAT low.   The labtech did manage to get a vein on the first try, but she did it by holding the needle at a downward angle the whole time (as opposed to letting it rest naturally).  Holy crap did that hurt and I was sure the vein was going to blow and be lost for further use, but it still looks okay.  I meant to ask a few questions about exercise and baby aspirin (at one point my RE had me on that for an IUI to help improve blood flow) but I forgot.   I doubt my exercising is hurting my lining, and its not like I'm doing Insanity or anything, but I've kept up the same level of working out that has lost me 7lbs in the past month so I'll ask when the nurse calls back.

***
Nurse called and I'm still cleared to workout, and she did say to start the aspirin as it can't hurt, but my E2 jumped to 130, which brings me back in tomorrow to see if I need to start the Ganirelix.  I've never had monitoring space out again after going to daily appts...so the find a vein shitshow begins.       

1st monitoring appt.

Surprisingly, I'm actually right on track for where I was at this time with my fresh cycle, despite the lower dose of follistim.  With IVF #1 I had about 6-10 follicles on the left, with the biggest at an 8, and a lining of 5.8.  I couldn't really see the screen today, but there were a few small follicles on the right, and about 4-5 on the left with the biggest around a 7.  My lining was actually 5.5, so I'm really hoping it continues to stay on track and this won't be any longer than my fresh cycle (which would put me at trigger time next tuesday).    I will probably get tomorrow off and go in Wednesday, which is good, because the lab tech hit both arms again.

****
My E2 is 64 and I will go back in Wednesday.

Baseline is done.

Lower dose was right.  They are putting me on only 100 units of Follistim (compared to 350 for reg IVF) and no low dose HCG!  Gah!  I spent 3 days last week going back and forth with the pharmacy and the RE getting the order straigtened out because they said I needed it and now I don't.  Very frustrating.

Baseline looked good, lining is only at 4mm before AF has even showed, so hopefully it will be a light one.  Of course the lab tech hit both arms trying to find a vein, despite warnings about how tricky they are.  Everytime they do it they tell me something different to tell them next time and the outcome is always the same.  Ouch.

Meds training was fast because I've done it all before, but I left very frustrated.  In addition to the hassle I mentioned above, I feel like they are being waaayyy too conservative.    Only 100 IUs of Follistim from Friday until Monday, when I have my 1st monitoring appt and then maybe I'll add in Ganirelix, which does nothing other than keep me from surging on my own, after that.    So they aren't aiming for half the follicles, they are aiming for ONE! WTF.   It took 21 follicles to get a lining of 8.5, how in hell do they think one will do the job.   I asked why they'd take this approach when my best result for an IUI with 1 mature follicle was a lining of 6.5.   The nurse looked a little concerned and the best answer she could come up with was Follistim is better than Bravelle for my lining and the Ganirelix will give that follicle more time to produce natural estrogen, because like a fresh cycle, I won't be on any estrace until after trigger.   She did say we could up the dose as well, so I'm sure I'll be on 200 IUs by next friday.  Good news is I won't have an limited restrictions until close to transfer.

ETA:  I guess my questions got some wheels rolling, because in the time this sat for a few hours as a draft, I got a call back from the nurse (which sent me into mini oh shit my b/w is wacked mode because they never call after early baselines).  She spoke with my RE, who said that although the HCG won't help my lining, it might help create a stronger, healthier follicle(s), which in turn could help my lining.  Either way it can't hurt and I feel better doing that little extra.  So when in doubt:  ask, ask, ask!!!

So here is everything but the low dose HCG, as the nurse said that what I've got is my trigger, even though I used the same thing as low dose last time.

Last day of BCPs!

Finally! I actually can't complain much this time around though...I don't think I've had any bloating and no other unpleasant side effects, but it is nice to be done with them anyway.   All my meds came...I'll post the obligatory med pic after my baseline, since I've got to haul them all in to the office anyway.  From looking at what I've got I will be on a much lower dose of Follistim.  I've only got 4 boxes of 600 IUs, last time I think I had 3 boxes of 900 IUs and boxes of 600 IUs donated from a friend.  

At least time seems to be moving pretty quick and I hope it stays that way.  I've got a good start on C's costume, we got pumpkins today and went through a little corn maze.  Tomorrow I'm finally using a gift certificate I've had for a massage, and because it is part of this really nice gym, I get access to everything all day so I'm planning to swim for tomorrow's workout.  I'm proud to say I've really stuck with daily workouts and I am almost 30lbs under where I was when I took my last BCPs for IVF #1 and 20lbs under BFP weight.   I know I'll have to cut back drastically as soon as stims start, but I feel good about where I am now and that is what matters.  If this works, losing weight will take a back seat, and if it doesn't, I think I can get back on track pretty fast.

: S

That's a face if you can't tell.  About the same face I made when talking to the IVF coordinator.  Since I didn't really know when I was starting stims, and it took nearly a week just to get my regular FET meds ordered last time, I called to ask when I should expect to hear from the pharmacy.  The orders went in today and I start stims on the 19th, so a little later than I thought, but it should line up to be right at cd3 (5 days after stopping BCPs).   I will have a trigger shot, but no retrieval (cue the face).  I can't imagine that will be the slightest bit comfortable, and paired with the horrid stomach pains from the doxycycline that I had my last IVF, it should be a grand old time.   Transfer is set somewhere in the beginning of Nov...hopefully the 1st or the 2nd, because I think the 3rd is a Saturday and then they'd probably push me to the 5th.  I will also be on Ganirelix again, so the only difference is no idiot anesthesiologist and retrieval.  Obviously I'll take things one day at a time and make the best of it, but I hope I feel okay for Halloween.  I've decided that C is going to be a rooster, and I'll be making the costume myself.  This was my inspiration: