Hello 3rd Trimester!!

Once again I've been slacking, I'm now 27 weeks and 4 days, so last week was the start of 3rd tri.   Friday I had my glucose tolerance test and all I can is that people are freaking pansies, because it wasn't that bad.  It tasted like flat orange soda with extra sugar in it.  The worst part, naturally, was getting my blood drawn because even with all that extra blood flow....my veins still suck.  At least she only had to stick me once and the vials they took were teensy tiny so it was over before I knew it.   They said they'd call with results only if there was a problem.

So it would appear that 3rd tri has brought along a few sudden changes.   If "nesting" = "OMG I can't shut my brain off ever", then that has started.  Our house is in pretty good shape...at least until the baby stuff start really pouring in, so instead I've gone into panic overdrive about the conditions of the grandparents houses.   My mother-in-law smokes...so we have one house full of 2nd and 3rd hand smoke.  My parents are borderline hoarders.  Not in that TLC show way, more in the too many family heirlooms that we really don't need along with every piece of artwork/toy I've owned stashed in the attic kind of way.   Seriously...I know we have a while, but it is far from child proof.   So my focus over the next few months will be getting rid of as much stuff as I can.   There isn't much I can do about the smokey house except limit our time there...but that in and of itself is a stressful issue.

Also, while it could be the above stress combined with fast approaching major travel, the irrational emotions have arrived as well.  The littlest things will send me into tears now.  Yesterday I asked R which suitcases we were taking now that he had borrowed the extra big one from his parents.  He got short with me and said he'd already told me this 3 times.  That resulted in a good 15 minutes of tears.  

Hopefully once we are in St. Thomas I can slow my mind down and just relax, because I feel like I did back when I was on Adderall for ADD.  Its not fun.

On a good note, my bump did not continue its major growth spurt...if anything, I think it might be a little smaller than my 26 week pic.

Baby/kid resale events.

On Saturday a friend and I decided we'd check out this huge resale event held by a Moms of Multiples club at a local school.  The sale was from 9-12 so I figured we'd go around 9:30.   Friday evening I talked to my neighbor, who is a garage sale pro, and she told me if we had anything specific we were looking for we had better get there early....like before the doors opened early.  She hadn't been to this exact one before, but the last big one she attended had a line halfway around the building.   So we adjusted our plans and decided to meet at 7:30am.

As soon as I pulled on to the road where the school was located, I was cut off by about 3 minivans in a row.  I laughed to myself that they must be headed to the sale....yeah, they were.   The whole parking lot was full of minivans and trucks and there was already a line of at least 100.   These people do not joke around...I even saw one with her own rolling storage cart thing.

So the doors opened at 8 and by the time we got back to the room with the big stuff it looked like a scene from the running of the brides event.  People pushing stuff aside, grabbing things practically out from under others...we just sort of stood there and stared for a minute.  We looked over a few things, but most of it was toys so we didn't spend much time in that section and headed to the clothing room.   Luckily the maternity section wasn't as much of a zoo and I got two cute tops and a pair of pants for $15.   I wasn't planning on buying any baby clothes yet, but I saw this outfit on a rack and just fell in love with it.  It is 3-6 months, so it may not fit until the end of summer/september...but he has his first swimsuit!!

The little wooden train is a toy that R had as a child and will be in the nursery.

26 weeks!

So I just wrote out a quick update and posted it....to the wrong blog.  No idea how that happened, but I added it to a group Infertility blog that has been inactive for close to a year.  I suppose that part is good, because otherwise that would have been reaaallly awkward with the belly shots and blantant pregnancy AW.

Anyway, no nursery pics yet...due to lack of good natural lighting in the evening we decided to do the rest of the painting this afternoon (or now weekend since it is dark and rainy today).   So this post will be pretty short, sadly I have a funeral for R's great uncle this afternoon.  It was reason enough to break out my first maternity dress outfit though, which actually looks really cute.

Look, the first time my knees have seen daylight in public since last October!

And the belly shot.  I'm not sure if it is the dress or that I've really grown, but I really look pregnant today!

down to double digits!!

99 days left!!!

The nursery is almost done.  When I say done, I mean the painting is almost finished.  I don't expect to have any furniture in there until late May or possibly even June.   We did buy a glider this past weekend.  We went to several furniture stores with the idea that buying a good glider from them would be better so it could eventually transition into a family room.  Turns out, at least in this area, Dutailier still holds the corner on the glider market no matter what store you go in.  So we decided to just look at the ones they had in Babies R Us, so at the very least I'd know which models we didn't want when I checked online.   We ended up going with this glider:


It seemed just as well made and sturdy as similar models in the regular furniture stores and the in stock fabric was something I liked.  Maybe the finish won't hold up super long, but I think we got a pretty good deal.

25 weeks

Overall I'm feeling pretty good, but sleep sure has been alluding me this week.  I'm not sure what it is that has suddenly changed, but I can't even roll over at night without feeling like I need to get up to go to the bathroom.   I even called the nurse to get checked for a UTI just in case because I had some lower ab discomfort last weekend too, but I haven't heard anything so I assume that is fine.  I'm pretty sure the cramps were just growing pains, but I'm not really bigger.

This past weekend we moved the last of the stuff out of the room that is to be the nursery and started repainting the closet doors.  We are hopefully going to get the first coat of wall paint done this weekend, but I doubt we'll get to the second part (high gloss stripes of the same color).  We settled on Valspar River Mist for the color...not too aqua, but at the same time not too baby blue either.

R is becoming a Craig's list junkie...he has been forwarding me links to giant baby garage sales.  There is one tomorrow that I might check out (not just baby stuff though), and really extensive one next weekend that I plan on checking out with my friend.  Hopefully I can find some nice spring maternity pants, because I don't really have anything in my loaner stash that fits yet.  And I think I've said before, I prefer the full panel style over the under belly ones, particularly now that I'm bigger.  It just gets really uncomfortable to sit with this heavy elastic band pushing on your lower belly.


Only 4 more days until I hit double digits!  35/35 is going to be here before I know it.  Also only a few more days until I am supposed to submit my notice of resignation intent at work....and come clean to the rest of my co-workers.  I am amazed the nosy secretary hasn't said anything yet.  It will be interesting to see if they are surprised or not.

24 weeks! Viability!

We made it!  24 weeks is has been the big milestone all along.  The next milestone is getting to full term.  From here on out, we have a chance if this little guy decides to come early and every week means a stronger baby.  Only 3 weeks left until 3rd trimester!

So I think the belly is really starting to grow out rather than just up.  Since my growth has been so gradual, I don't realize all the time how much I've really grown:

 

And to think I felt bloated and huge at 12 weeks.  Ha!

Movement is starting to get crazy now.  Those little feet are still almost always up under my right ribs (at least it feels that way).  Last night R was even able to feel his first cluster of kicks, rather than one that was over before he even realized what he was feeling.   Seeing it from the outside never ceases to amaze me.  Even though I feel him so much on the inside, somehow being able to see my belly move and know it is my baby on the other side making that happen is just so much more real.   Pretty soon I think I be at the lopsided bump phase depending on where he is positioned.  I felt my first slow roll from the outside the other morning.  I couldn't tell if it was a head or a butt, but this little lump pushed its way across my side.   Last night before bed I felt an elbow (?) slowly move up my belly.

I think I may have had some Braxton Hicks, but I don't know what they feel like, so I'm not sure.  It usually happens once or twice when I'm walking for exercise, and then recently it is happened at random times even when resting.  It feels like a tight fist in my lower abdomen, but the rest of my uterus doesn't feel hard at all, so I wonder if it is just baby curling into a little ball down there.  It isn't painful, at the worst it feels like when your bladder is too full.  I'll mention when I talk to the nurse tonight (part of a healthy start program through my insurance, I get weekly calls from a nurse now to check up on me and answer any questions) but I'm not concerned.

My next u/s is in about 2 and half weeks, and I get to have my 1 hour glucose test on April 8th.  I'm pretty sure I'm fine.  With a diabetic sister and a diabetic cat, I could certainly test myself if I felt like it, but it still wouldn't save me from that nasty glucola.  After all the crap I've been through in the past two years, I'm pretty sure it won't be that bad.

Happy St. Patricks Day!!

Fetal echo went well!

And I'd like to introduce the sweetest face in the whole world.

The MFM doctor turned on the 4D feature at the end of our scan.  He is absolutely adorable (and that little hand is still up by the head!).

Everything looked great, I learned some new things, and baby is definitely a boy. He is measuring 24w4days and weighs about 1lb7oz!! Chances are I will end up having a June baby, with an adjusted uterine age EDD of 6/28, but my true EDD is still 7/7 because while baby is bigger, he isn't actually older.


They took all the heart measurements first...HB was around 135 because he was napping. That took up the majority of the appt. The nurse was very nice and explained beforehand that it would take awhile and not to be concerned if she got quiet because she would have to do a lot of concentrating to get the right measurements.  Honestly, by 45 minutes into it, I was almost bored.  Most of the screenshots were close ups of ventricles, arteries, heart chambers, etc., so I couldn't even see baby moving around while she measured.

They did a cervical length check since I had a history of uterine abnormality (septum removal). The first thing I noticed was this odd looking black ball in what looked like the middle of my cervix. The tech said it was probably a contraction, but she'd bring in the doctor to be sure. I could see where the cervix still looked long and closed, so I wasn't freaking out, but it certainly was a bit disconcerting. The doctor explained (complete with hand drawn diagram) that the "ball" was really an empty pocket of the uterus caused by two focal contractions, which are localized muscle spasms in the uterus often caused by too much poking and prodding. When these happen during an u/s, they can look just like fibroids as the muscle is all knotted up.  I just happened to have them in mirrored spots on either side of my cervix, making it look like part of the cervix. These can occur anywhere in the uterus and aren't anything to worry about.

Final SCH update!!:
Before she finished up the abdominal scan I asked her to check my SCH and it is officially gone!! She looked, I looked while she scanned, and the doctor came in to look. The sack and the uterine walls were well defined and looked great, so in the dr's words, I'm "just normal" now. Yay!  Such a relief to know that I don't have worry about anything shifting.  I've spent so much of this pregnancy being abnormal/high-risk, I don't even know what normal pregnancy rules are like.  At least I know I will be free to swim in St. Thomas!  I have a regular OB appt on Friday, where of course I will be sure to get an "all clear" first, but it will be nice to be able to push myself a little in the regular activity department.

slacking on the blogging (22 weeks!)

So I'm about 4 days late with my weekly update post, but I accomplished a lot in the meantime!

- Signed up for birthing/labor class
- Scheduled appt. with home nurse for pre-term labor education (free service from Aetna)
- Started the registration process for cord blood donation
- Set up registries at Babies R Us (BRU) and Target

Registering has been a major headache, but to start my saga off on a good note, someone bought my Pack N Play already!  I've only had these set up for 2 days and something is already bought.   I am so excited!   Here it is...Graco Kinsley from Target.

Love the pattern.  It took me forever (okay, a week of constant searching) to find a pattern I liked that included the PnP, carseat, swing, and high chair....or at the very least the infant car seat and PnP.  Originally I fell in love with Graco's Broadstreet pattern, but naturally it was being discontinued when I started seriously considering what to register for about a week ago.  So I searched the car seats on Graco's site, checked out the patterns available at BRU and was about to settle for a pattern with a slightly heavier carrier than we originally wanted (Snugride 35 vs regular Snugride) when I searched under the Pack n Plays on Graco's site and found the one above.  It does come with the full travel system as opposed to just the carrier, but the stroller is pretty easy to fold and will be nice when we do want something a little heavier duty that the Graco carrier frame I am also registered for.    Of course, moments after swearing to my mother I wouldn't be caught dead registering at Target, I discovered this pattern was only available there...so I ate my words and registered at the store from hell.  I'm keeping my registry there fairly small, and just hoping that everyone includes a gift receipt if they buy off registry or online because Target only allows up to $70 of returned merchandise within one calendar year...so if I get 2 of a larger item by accident (because they are notorious for screwing that up too) I'm stuck.  That pattern is totally worth the risk though.

And here is my 22 week bump pic from a horrible angle, but I didn't feel like a re-take. 

Tomorrow is our fetal echo.  I can't wait to see our little guy again.

Saw movement!

That's right, I saw it!  I was resting on my bed for a few minutes and I could see my belly move when he kicked!  It was the neatest moment.  I called R over but of course baby had stopped the higher up kicks.  Poor guy.  One of these days we'll time things right so he can feel/see them.

21 weeks

I got my first stranger comment today!  In the elevator at work I was asked when I was due and then told I look great for someone due in July!  That totally made my day.  So I guess I am really starting to look pregnant to everyone now, hello belly:

I still think I am a bit on the small side belly-wise, but I'm pretty sure baby is well ahead of the curve.  My baby books say my uterus is now 3/4 of an inch above my belly button.  I assume they mean the top of the uterus, but this little guy is kicking me a few inches above it, or at least it feels that way.  Once or twice when I've been sitting a little hunched over I swear he's gotten a rib.  This afternoon I was able to feel a few outside kicks while resting my hand on top of my belly.  It was the coolest feeling.  I'm hoping R can feel him soon. 

And an all things shopping update.  I tried on my Victoria's Secret tankini top from last summer...that was a sad mistake and made me feel like a flabby fat guy with a beer gut.  So I took a chance and ordered a maternity suit online.  I searched everywhere for something that wasn't frumpy or a blinding pattern and finally found this site.  Here is my suit, which actually looks pretty cute on!

The top may not last me through the summer, but the next size up would have left the bottoms falling off me.   I also discovered that ebay is quite helpful when looking for summer maternity clothes in February.  I bought  a cute sundress brand new from Motherhood maternity for only $14 including shipping.  We'll see if my sizing luck continues.

And finally, I ordered our first pack of diapers from Amazon.  While at the dentist the other day, I managed to score two 20% off coupons out of the Feb. and Mar issues of Parenting mag. they had.  Though they say only one per customer, if the codes start with YT and YJ you can combine both on one order.  Also, if you sign up for subscribe & save through Amazon Mom, you save another 30%.  So I got a pack of Pampers that was originally $41 for $12.  Score!

Bought our crib!

Since we were both too sick to make it out shopping this past weekend, we went out last night and took advantage of the last day of a President's Day sale.  Good thing we did too, because aside from saving some money, delivery time can be up to 4 months!  Thats about all I've got left.

We went with the Munire Bristol crib that I originally fell in love with.  R had some doubts about it being suitable for a boy, but we have decided that this crib will move on to the next baby, so buying one with just this child in mind didn't make much sense.  We did debate going with a Ragazzi set though that was on the floor.
From the Pompei collection:

Ultimately I decided I liked the rounded corners of the Munire one better, so this is our crib.

We also bought the toddler rails and adult conversion kits, as well as a 6 drawer dresser.  Of course, on the drive home it occurred to me that we forgot to order a mattress, but I'm pretty sure I can find a better deal for one online somewhere.

Being sick sucks.

And it really sucks when you are pregnant, for a multitude of reasons.  Lets go over a few

1. You can't take any of the good meds, not that the over the counter crap works anyway.

2. You can't sleep on your back so you can breathe at night...instead you wake up contantly with a severly dry and painful throat.

3. You pee yourself when you sneeze, despite doing a ton of kegels.  Not every time, but when your on sneeze #5 in a row or are in an odd postion (like sleeping on your side w/ a pillow between your legs) you're done.

4.  Both coughing and sneezing make your already stretched out abdominal muscles hurt more, adding injury to insult after you've just peed yourself a little.

5.  You have be on top of your temperature like white on rice, because if it gets over 101, its off to the doctor/L&D.


So yeah, that horrid cold I had is turning into a force to be reckoned with, and R has it too.  So far my temperature hasn't gone above 99.5, but I've been taking Tylenol when it gets up there.  R's is up over 100, even with the "good" meds/Tylenol.  Needless to say, we will both be calling our doctors tomorrow.

20 weeks - halfway there!

We are halfway through the pregnancy!!  Possible even more since this little one was measuring a week and a half ahead at the anatomy scan.  Can you believe I only have 7 weeks left until 3rd tri?  I sure can't.  I'd like to say that the next few weeks will go nice and slow, but I have a feeling they will be gone in a flash too.  R is likely traveling to Texas for week long work trip in April...right before we leave for St. Thomas, so we are shortening our nursery prep timeframe.  Not sure that is even possible, but hopefully we can take advantage of some President's Day sales and get our crib ordered this weekend.

Aside from a nasty cold that is currently kicking my ass, I've been feeling pretty good.  My sciatica pain is much, much better, so now I'm just left with normal pregnancy pains.  I'm hoping to start some easy yoga and prenatal workouts soon.

My sleep is gone again.

I think I've seen the last of halfway decent nights of sleep.   This past weekend we were visiting friends, and though I have no shame and hauled my huge pregnancy pillow with me, I rarely sleep well when I'm not in my own bed.  I figured I'd catch up on sleep once we were home.  Yeah....not so much.  It would seem that I've passed that blissful window of time in pregnancy where you only have to get up to pee 2-3 times a night.  I swear I'm back to bathroom trips every hour.  Last night I was up at 11:15 (45 minutes after getting in bed), 12, 1am, 2am, and finally 3:30am.  I think I might have to take my one baby book's suggestion of stopping/reducing fluid intake after 6pm because this is just ridiculous.

We told both our parents this weekend that we are having a little boy.  MIL was the most excited I've seen her all pregnancy.  She said she'd been hoping it was a boy because R had always wanted a little brother growing up.   My parents were very happy too, but I think my mom may have wanted it to be a surprise.  Oh well.

On a somewhat unrelated note, I saw these shoes in a Nordstrom catalogue while at my parents last night and fell in love with them.  I rarely buy shoes online, but it didn't look like they were available in store anywhere near me, so I found a website with free shipping and free returns (http://www.endless.com/) and bought them on a whim.  I have been very good about not buying any shoes while pregnant in case my feet grow but I just had to take the risk.   I'm validating myself by saying they'll make the most perfect shoes to wear to a baby shower!

It would appear...

that some of my readers have much better intuition than R or I because.....

We were totally shocked because we were both so sure we were having a girl....and at no point during our u/s did we see anything that told us otherwise so that tech was really good at hiding it.   I really haven't even seriously looked at any boy names yet.  So exciting!

***Nothing on facebook please since we aren't sure if we will be telling everyone!***

anatomy scan is complete!

Everything looked great at our anatomy scan.  I was not prepared for how hard the tech had to push to get some of the right angles for measurement, but in the end she got everything except the fingers.  Little baby just didn't want to open up those little fists...so they will check them again at our fetal echo on March 8.  They checked the cord, the brain, did quite few heart measurements....all looked good.   There was one point when she measured the nuchal fold at 3.2 that I got a bit concerned, but logic told me there were different cut-offs for the NT vs. the anatomy scan and I was right.  The nurse said the cut-off for a 1st tri scan is 3, but the cut-off for 2nd tri is 6, so still well within normal.  Baby was head down, so I am guessing some of the movement I've been feeling are little punches, not kicks.  

After she did all the initial measurements, she left to check the pictures with the doctor and see if he wanted a cervical length check done.  The nurse said normally they only do this if there is a uterine abnormality, and since I had a septum removal, she'd have to ask.  I was glad they did decide to do one, even if it meant being re-united once more with the dildo cam, because it is one less thing to wonder/worry about.  Cervix length was nice and long and showed no signs of opening with pressure.  She then went back and remeasured the heart, which made R really nervous because he was worried that meant there was a problem, but all was good.

The nurse saw no sign of the hematoma, which was fantastic, but questionable.  When the doctor came in after the nurse was done, he did a quick scan himself and we did see the upper area that was sealed off.  It is thoroughly sealed off at this point though and poses no threat to the baby.  The lower part is gone, so aside from maybe some minor spotting/bleeding, I'm good to go for now.  I'll call my OB sometime this week to check about pelvic rest and restrictions.

And finally, I am afraid I must keep you all waiting a little bit longer on the sex of our baby.  We had the nurse write the sex down on a card they have just for that and seal it in an envelope.  We will open it either tonight or  tomorrow night at an early Valentine's Day dinner.  R suggested the idea, and since I was getting more and more nervous about the anatomy part, it seemed like a better way to find out than in a darkened scan room while possibly learning so much other info.  I promise to update tomorrow or Sunday!

19 weeks

T minus one week until I'm halfway there!  Tomorrow we will find out whether we are expecting a little boy or a little girl.  I am trying not to be nervous for the anatomy scan, but good lord, there is so much that can still be wrong.  I'm telling myself that since I had a fairly comprehensive scan at 15 weeks, I'm less likely to get shocking news than someone who hasn't had a scan since 11-12 weeks, but that evil little voice in the back of my mind is still rattling off the "what ifs".

Can't say I feel much different than last week, and I'm pretty sure I don't look different either.  Earlier this week I felt huge, and even my physical therapist commented that it looked like I'd popped.  But this morning I didn't feel any bigger at all, and if I sucked the belly in a stranger wouldn't even give it a second glance.  

Not the greatest picture...R was on the phone when he took it and I had to run out the door to work.  This weekend we are heading down to DC to visit friends.  It will be my first trip of any sort since 6 weeks and it will be nice to get away for a bit.  Next weekend I think we are going to hope for some President's Day sales and go crib shopping!  We aren't planning on making any other major nursery decisions until late March (I've been staring at paint swatches for almost 2 weeks now though...that will get a special post later I'm sure) but I don't know how long some delivery times can take and we'd like the nursery basics done by the time we leave for St. Thomas in April.  That will leave May and June for organizing shower gifts, finding a pediatrician, and all the other stuff that I haven't thought about yet.

SCH:

We'll see what tomorrow shows, but *fingers crossed* I haven't had anything but tinged CM since Sunday.  That is longest I've gone since this all started without at least obvious spotting, so I'm really hoping it is a continuing trend.  The OB at my appt. on Monday said not to be surprised if it still wasn't resolved, but I had told I was still having spotting since I assumed this lull was short lived.  Either way, she didn't seem concerned and said she saw no reason why we couldn't travel to St. T in April. 



Super bowl sunday.

A year ago today, we had just completed the IUI part of our 2nd IUI cycle.  We attended a friend's super bowl party...where we talked about TTC, but totally skirted the trouble and IF parts.  Little did we know, the couple hosting had recently found out their 2nd IUI cycle had failed and were gearing up for their first IVF cycle...all at the same RE clinic we were going to. 

Today, we are having the neighbors come over for pizza.  I will probably go to bed half way through the game because being 18 weeks pregnant can be exhausting.  Our friends from last year's party will probably be calling it an early night too because they have a 1 month old little girl from that IVF cycle.  So much can change in a year.

And speaking of exciting changes, I went to the mall earlier with one of my best friends...and she told me she is pregnant!!!  She is about 6 weeks so they haven't told anyone other than their bosses yet, but I am so happy she told me.  It was so nice talking to someone else IRL who really seems to get pregnancy, and not take that nonchalant "whatever happens, happens" attitude.  Her first u/s is later week...everything crossed she gets to see that little heartbeat!

18 weeks.

Technically 18w2days...my 18 week bump pic attempt was a giant fail and then my camera battery died, so take two was this morning.  I think I've finally popped a little. 

My weight is still about the same, but my bump and boobs are growing in full force.  Every time R walks by when I'm changing or getting in and out the shower, he stares as though he has never seen breasts before.  Then, of course, he tries to play with them.  Hopefully we'll be off this pelvic rest soon.

I was supposed to have an OB appt yesterday, but my doctor was called into surgery, so my options were going to the office location that isn't very convenient, or waiting until Monday.  I chose to move it to Monday, so I'll ask my list of questions then.   I'm not too concerned about the SCH...I've barely had spotting the past week.  My latest issue, which actually has been going on periodically for a few weeks, is my digestive system's inability to perform its duties at a regular pace without causing all kinds of cramps and pains.  I started eating dried prunes and was good for about a week there, but yesterday I had cramping on my lower right side in the morning and later in the day.  Eating seemed to move/change it so I knew it was digestive related.  Last we ate dinner on the fly so we could meet up with friends for a bit....big mistake for both of us.  Around 1am, I woke up from a dream in which I thought I had to pee...to pretty bad stomach/abdominal cramps.  I thought maybe it was like sleep orgasms, where my body was just reacting to my subconscious, but getting up to pee didn't help.  The pain felt kind of like my bladder was too full, with a centralized burning in the lower center of my abs.  Not my normal indigestion pains.  So I went downstairs to get my cell and chug some water, to see if I could get the pain to move, and if not....make the call to L&D.  Upon returning to the bedroom I discovered R in the bathroom....clearly on the verge of throwing up.  Luckily for him, some Pepto kept his dinner in check.  Eventually my pains moved and subsided, but I lost over an hour of sleep and it still caused me some worry because it is really hard to tell what cramps I need to pay attention to.   So....a big fuck you to Pat's Pizzeria, we won't be eating your food for long time!



Movement!

For the past week or so I've been feeling what I thought could be movement, but couldn't say for sure until today that it wasn't just an odd case of indigestion.  Particularly since baby likes to move after I eat.  My first "was that a kick?" moment actually happened about 2 weeks ago, but then nothing for a while.  This happened a few other times too, but it was always just one little tap so I never had a second chance to concentrate and decide what it was I was feeling.   Tuesday night R and I went to Home Depot to look at paint colors and I felt some movement then, which I think must be the baby flipping around because it felt like water sloshing around in there, but no distinct kicks.  Now, as I sit at my desk...I am getting little prods, pokes and taps all across my abdomen in varying patterns.  It feels like they might be strong enough to feel from the outside, but sitting with my hands in my pants would probably be frowned upon.   And it looks like my late afternoon performance is over anyway....18 weeks tomorrow!

17 weeks

Seems like every week I sit here and say I can't believe it is already ___ weeks, but really, time seems to be moving so fast now.  A few short weeks ago the days weren't passing so quickly, but I suppose being more comfortable with where I am now helps things along.  It doesn't seem fair that it works that way...time drags when you are anxious, and flies by when you are not (unless, of course, you are anxious/dreading something in the future, in which, time will fly then too).

So lets see...changes to report this week.  I think I'm showing a little more, but I think it is increased lack of being able to comfortably suck in what is there rather than a change in actual bump size.  I definitely notice it when I hug DH, but when I sit down I just look fat.  :(

Over the weekend I started have hip pains, probably from stretching ligaments...and yesterday I noticed soreness around my rib area, so maybe signs are pointing to popping soon?  I guess I thought I'd be seeing a little more rapid change at this point.

 And look!  My first picture here in real maternity clothes.  Other than sweats and pajamas, I think I may I have said I've scrapped the non-maternity stuff, minus one or two longer sweaters.  A few weeks ago a friend that had her little girl in November gave me a giant tub of maternity clothes, and last weekend a neighbor brought over about 3 huge storage tubs of clothes as well.  There was so much that we went through it and I picked out a few things I didn't even see the need to try on (red velvet Christmas top anyone?) and then this past Sunday I spent a few hours trying on all the stuff and starting to sort it by season.   I still haven't gone through all the pants, but it gave me a great chance to get an idea of the style of pants (full panel, mid-panel, under belly) that I like best.  For jeans I'm finding full panel works best, because you can fold them over for extra waistband support (all of them slide down anyway though).  I tried on pants from Old Navy, Motherhood Maternity, Target, Pea in A Pod, and the most comfortable waistband and the most well made ones I found are Gap, so I think I may end up buying a few pairs to keep.

R finally decided!

This morning R gave me a big hug and said he wanted to find out.  I asked him if he was sure because I knew he'd really been on the fence about knowing, and he said yes, because he wanted to be able to "talk to the baby".  It was so sweet.

So we are no longer undecided or going team green.  Two weeks from Friday we will find out whether we are having a little girl or a little boy.   As you can see, I put up a poll for fun, so I expect you all to vote!  I will, of course, announce baby's sex here, but we may decide to keep it a secret from everyone IRL.

16 weeks

It is hard to believe in just 4 weeks I will be halfway there.  Not a whole lot to report at the moment.  I think I've seen the last of my regular pants though, I tried using the bella band a friend gave me earlier this week and it just wasn't comfortable anymore (worked great last week though).  It just cut in too much at the bottom when I sat down and by the end of the day it made me feel all crampy.  So I've spent a lot of time online looking at maternity clothes, which, as I expected/heard, are expensive as hell for something you will maybe get about 2-3 months of wear out before the seasons change.  The spring/summer stuff will probably last me longer, but sweaters won't.  I think I'll take one friend's suggestion of buying some cheap non-maternity tunic sweaters from somewhere like Forever 21 (which I haven't set foot in since my college clubbing days...don't judge, I'm desperate).  Of course, that means I have to brave the mall, which I've been putting off for a while now. 
Also, in general, maternity swimsuits are the frumpiest, ugliest things I've ever seen, and I was getting really depressed until I found this website.  There are a bunch of really cute ones there, though I'm not sure how practical they all are.   I'm still just looking for now....R thinks I should wait until the end of March to buy any, because I don't know how big I'll be, but if I wait too long I won't have time to return/exchange them if they don't work. 

I started physical therapy for my back yesterday, and was quite pleased that they didn't think I'd need to see them on a continual basis.   I have a couple stretches that I can to a few times a day, and I'll go back once a week for the next two weeks and see how things are progressing.   She did tell me no more heels *cries*, so I guess I'll have to subject myself to old lady shoes until it is time for cute spring wedges/flats.

So I feel huge today...I have a feeling I'm going to carry everything out front.  Here I am at 15 weeks and yesterday at 16 weeks.  Please excuse the dry elbows and whatever that is behind my elbow at 15 weeks, I swear it isn't a giant creepy spider on the wall, but it freaked me the hell out while editing the pic.

In other exciting news, I realized yesterday that I am almost sleeping through the night now!  So I've finally hit that break period from the thousand pee trips a day.  Once we get this back pain under control I should be good to go for a while.  So nice to actually feel somewhat rested.

 

So excited...maybe a babymoon afterall!

Originally I never thought we'd bother planning a special trip before baby comes, not a big one anyway.  Once all this SCH stuff happened, I figured even small trips were out the window for a while.  Well, a long time friend called last night and invited us down to her family vacation castle (yes, it is a small castle) on St. Thomas in the end of April!   I can't wait!  It has been 3 years since we went down and I am so looking forward to visiting again.

Look at these views! (from the terrace/pool area and the sun terrace )

The nurse said as long as this SCH resolves itself there is no reason I can't fly at 28/29 weeks.  I will talk to the doctor about things more specifically at our appointment in 2 weeks.   So body & baby...work with me here...because mommy wants to go back!

3 day weekends are great...

especially when you would have to take Monday as a sick/personal day otherwise.  Nothing major, just a repeat more or less of last week.   At least it held off until yesterday, because R was out of town most of the weekend, so there were only a few hours where I was dealing with it alone.

I don't like it when R is gone because I never sleep well.  No real reason...I just don't.  Well, our idiot dog decided to compound my trouble sleeping by barking loudly at invisible intruders in the middle of the night.  So despite the fact that our alarm system was on and untriggered, I still had to get up search the house with a loaded glock for peace of mind.  Just the thing you want to do when exhausted and pregnant.  So after checking everything I went back to bed with the hall light on, because my irrational fear said that would allow me to see any approaching shadow before it got to the room (assuming I was awake...yeah, I know).  Finally around 5am, after waking up almost every hour, I turned it off and managed to sleep until 7:30 when it was time to feed the cats.
I fully expected to wake up to problems based on the stress of the night before (I kindly left out the earlier part where something I ate decided to get major revenge) but I was fine until around 9am when I starting bleeding while trying to get the dog to cooperate long enough to get his collar on and put him outside.  FYI, sciatica flares make it quite difficult to get to the bathroom quickly.  It is even more pathetic when you think the bleeding has stopped and try to get in a quick shower, only to figure out you were wrong and you are now reenacting a mini version of the shower scene from Carrie.  Anyway, I went back to bed for a few hours and it looked like things were getting better, but around noon I felt that same abdominal pressure I had before the last really big clot, but only had some heavier bleeding for a minute and that was basically it.  It is still red but back to mostly spotting.   I talked to the nurse this morning but since I just had an u/s Thursday we will wait and see (and I'm fine with that).  She did say if I ever have any type of pressure in the future I should call so they can get me into to triage.
On a more fun level, I think I am starting to pop/show for real now.  When I woke up yesterday there was definitely a difference from other mornings, and when I'm lying down my belly still looks like a little bump.  I promise to post a pic in the next few days.

15 weeks and an u/s update

I went in for a follow up u/s today just to check everything out.  Despite telling him two days ago when our appointment was, R didn't tell me until a few hours prior that there was no way he could arrange his work schedule to make it.  If he had told me that 2 days ago, or even yesterday afternoon I would have tried to schedule it tomorrow.  I know he wanted to be there, and it really turned out to be a shame he couldn't make it, because it was much longer and more intensive than any scan I've had so far...including the NT scan.

Baby is measuring 16 weeks and the tech looked at and measured the arms, legs, head and body and then looked at the heart (all four chambers present!), pointed out the stomach, lung area, bladder, and diaphragm.  She was really good at telling me what she was doing and what we were looking at.  She even turned on the 4D feature a few times.  Very cool, but honestly I had almost no idea what I was looking at.  I did see the baby open and close its mouth several times....so adorable!  Of course I kept a sharp lookout for any sign of whether it was a boy or a girl, but there was nothing that my eyes could distinguish.  Here is the better of the 2 4D pictures...the baby's arms are bent up by the head and the legs are up but I can't tell what is between them, can you?

She asked if I wanted to know what her guess was, and it damn near killed me to say no.   I did ask if she made a note of that anywhere in my file in case R decided he wanted to know before our anatomy scan and she not normally but she'd be happy to do that.  So I have a number where we can reach her and she'll call us back.  

A couple more pictures:

SCH:
Well....I can't say if it is smaller, but at least the baby is bigger than it now.  It appears to have divided (i.e. sealed itself off) into two parts, but the tech wasn't absolutely sure if the area between the two was now normal uterine tissue or just heavily clotted over.  Anyway, the section with the more active bleed area is the part next to the baby (before it was a giant L shape, below and along the anterior wall) and that appears sealed off from the area below baby, where the current bleeding is coming from.  Just to clarify, active bleeding does not mean new blood, it just means the part that isn't clotting up.  If you click on the side shot above you can see the upper section of the bleed...there is a very thin line starting at the baby's knee/leg and going across..that is the edge of the sac and the blood is above it.  So the lower part is much more clotted, but I should still expect more bleeding.  The tech also measured the baby's fluid level (which had been a nagging concern for me) and it looks great.  So the good news is this thing isn't getting any bigger or worse, just slow to make visible improvement.

At home today...

I had another small bleed last night.  Nothing compared to my past ones, but enough to keep me from falling back asleep after 4am.  Well, that and the awful headache I had all night.   So I decided to stay home and take it easy.  I called the OB when they opened and they decided to have me come in.  The heartbeat sounded great at about 150 and my cervix was closed.  They are going to bring me back in Thursday just to see how everything looks and if they can't tell what this hematoma will do next.   It will be reassuring to see our little baby again.

We talked about my headaches but unless they really start to impair my daily life they can't do too much.  They are bothersome, but not migraine level.  If they get too bad, they can give me Tylenol w/ codeine.  Normally I'd jump at the chance to rid myself of a headache, but obviously it is a last resort now.

Trying hard to care...

about work, but I just can't.  Not long term anyway, because I won't be here.  I've been here for 7 years now and I'm just burned out.  I used to love my job, but since returning from my honeymoon 3 years ago it has just gone downhill.  We've gone through two executive directors which led to a lot of trust issues and staff turnover, and the only staff member that needs to leave is that obnoxious unprofessional bitch of a secretary (who happened to be hired while I was on said honeymoon).  So while the director situation was fixed, in general the working environment just isn't the same.

I can get through my day to day stuff and even the long term deadlines that are part of set projects, but not the office wide long term decisions.  I am in charge of the technology, including any purchases and tech improvements.  Normally I'm faced with questioning from the less technologically advanced staff, I explain my reasoning, and we move forward with my original plan.  I need to meet with our grant writer tomorrow to discuss how we should allocate our most recent grant.  I've already stated 2 months ago when we submitted the proposal how it should be done, but she wants to argue about it.  Thing is, I can't tell you what will be best within the next 5 years...or even the next 2, because I won't have any part in it and I have no clue how my replacement will run things.  I should note that by the time all this stuff is approved, ordered and installed, I'll have maybe 3 months left because nothing is ever accomplished quickly when it comes to spending large chunks of money.  I can't tell her that though, because only our current director knows of my plans to leave at the moment.  I don't feel like arguing my point anymore, I'm so ready to be done and gone from here.

::bites tongue::

We made our announcements on facebook today.  Prior to unlocking my wall I did a little cleaning of my friends list and got rid of a couple people that had just been irritating me with their status updates for a while...and of course I made sure my one co-worker is still blocked from ever commenting on my page again (she is the one who said infertile people had lost sight of the true goal, a baby, and should remember adoption is always an option). 
Anyway, one of these people was still friends with R and of course noticed immediately she was no longer my friend and sent a request.  I accepted just not to cause problems.   Two hot seconds later she posts on my page "what a precious Gift from God".   It is all I can do not to respond back that my baby is a precious gift from science and God had nothing to do with it.   Yes, I thank God my baby is still here with me today, but if I'd left things in his hands there wouldn't be one at all right now.    I'm sure she meant well, but comments like that just piss me off.  Her religious status updates (in addition to the endless play by plays of everything little damn thing she did throughout the day) were the reason she was unfriended in the first place.  I'll give it a few weeks, then she is getting unfriended and blocked.

14 weeks!

I'm afraid this won't be a very exciting post.  I had my monthly OB appointment today.  I'm so thankful I bought a home doppler and was able to find and take time to listen to our little baby's heartbeat at home, because that midwife barely kept that doppler on there long enough to register a reading before whisking it away.  Pretty sure mine is better than theirs too because it was full of static.   We went over all that has happened since my last appointment, I asked a few questions about round ligament pain, which she couldn't answer for sure, and that was it.  So I walked out of there without learning anything new....except that Tyrell most definitely does not live with the woman screaming into her phone in the hallway.  Klassy.

I'm still taking weekly bump pics, but even though I feel like I'm showing, there really isn't any visible difference yet between 12 weeks and 14.

***edited to add pics - just for you Papps!! :) ***

SCH:
I made through 3 days of work without any problems.  I am supposed to call the doctor if anything changes but the midwife didn't seem too concerned today.   Overall I am beginning to feel more comfortable with it all.  I'm not like a little kid afraid to go to bed anymore, for fear of what might happen in the middle of the night while I'm sleeping.  I'm not doing anything crazy like wearing light colored pants, but I even made a quick trip to the grocery store by myself today.   This weekend I'm going to make R brave a dept store with me and look for maternity pants, because I'm down to 2 pairs of work pants and it is just too freaking cold for skirts or dresses.

Announcements have begun!

I made it to a NYE party at my friend's house and was able to tell some of my closest friends.  One of my best friends wouldn't come no matter how hard we tried to get her there, so she ended up hearing the news from her sisters and I talked to her the next day.   Everyone seemed surprised, though I had been almost positive my other best friend had figured it out, but she said she hadn't (other than some speculation from everyone on if I was drinking real drinks on a trip to Atlantic City in Nov.)
I told another long time friend on Sunday, who was totally surprised, as she didn't even know we were TTC.   And I made the announcement today at work.  This was my first day back, so I was quite pleased when I walked in and discovered the one co-worker that I despise was out sick.  Score!   So I happily shared the news with the rest of the office without having to worrying about her inappropriate belly grabbing reaction. Sometime toward the end of this week we'll unlock our Facebook pages and make some type of announcement there as well.

SCH:
Still doing pretty well.  I've made it through one day of work without incident.  We will see what tonight brings.  I don't really expect to make it through this week without some sort of problem, but I'm trying to stay optimistic.  It doesn't really help that I walked back in to work to be greeted by a giant shitstorm of deadlines, which are extra frustrating to meet when you can't actually move any file boxes yourself...or even run back and forth from the printer.  I've never been one to dictate my job to other people, but I guess I'll have to learn.

13 weeks!!

Can I officially say I'm in the 2nd trimester yet?  Not sure exactly when it starts, but I'm damn close!  I am too lazy to upload a bump picture right now, but I can say that (well, before eating anything in the morning at least) I'm more bump than bloat!! Size-wise there isn't much difference yet, because the bloat/bump are shrinking/growing at an even pace, but I can feel my uterus easily now.  Since I've been on modified bedrest I've been able to avoid addressing my regular wardrobe situation, but my jeans are permanently out.  I don't think I'll bother with one of those belly bands things....just move on to maternity pants of some sort.   R bought me some kind of waistband expander on amazon for Christmas, but there is no way they will work.

He also bought my a Boppy pillow and the baby bedding I wanted!!  I found this back when I was about 8 weeks.  I showed him but he didn't seem too interested and I figured I'd just have to file it away in an ideas folder and wait until I was far enough along to make a registry.   Well, he was paying a lot more attention than I thought!  I absolutely love it!

Bananafish Bailey bedding set.  The includes the sheets, blanket, bumper and bedskirt. 

And while we are on the nursery topic.  Here is the crib I am in love with. 

Munire Bristol Collection.  We really haven't even begun to actually look at cribs, but I found this at the same time I was looking at bedding so I saved it.  So beautiful!  R is starting to get into the nursery ideas stuff now too.  He was talking about adding crown molding to the baby's room, and possibly a chair rail depending on how we want to paint things.  I know we will go with pale blue and use flat and satin paint to create a striped look, but I don't know if we want that floor to ceiling or just half with a solid base.  I know, I'm getting way ahead of myself here, but it is fun to think about.

We are also getting very close to be fully "out".  Immediate families know, so do a few of R's close friends and select co-workers at both our jobs.  I plan on announcing to all my friends tomorrow night at a New Year's Eve party.  I hope everyone is planning to come...otherwise that will kind of crimp my plans but I think I'll go forward with the announcement anyway.  We'll probably make a few calls to extended family over the weekend and let it spread by word of mouth to cousins and such.  I was originally planning to tell my office at our staff meeting next friday and then open up our facebook pages around 14 weeks (they are locked now just in case) but with this SCH bedrest issue, I will probably have to arrange a few special meetings in the beginning of the week, which leads me to my next topic.

SCH update:

Since this obviously isn't going anywhere anytime soon, I'm just going to give it its own update section at the end of posts.  It is easier that way and all my normal updates don't sound like such downer posts with it separated out.

I've been holding steady so far this week, though I'm just waiting for that next big bleed.  I know it has to be in there somewhere.  Instead, I've been getting little changes in flow, just enough to freak me out too much to be comfortable leaving the house for very long, not to mention still being stuck with these giant pads.

I've talked with 2 of the nurses at my OBs office about follow up for this thing.  My OB is going to review the NT scans and look at the size of the hematoma, but the nurse today said it shifted to be 66mm X 54mm, so more square than the 69x34 it was before.   She said it is large, but she has seen bigger that ended in full term births, so the concern level is not increasing any more than before.  Chances are though, that I will not be returning to work full time next week either.  I'm hoping I can at least put in some half days, because I work for a small non-profit and I am not planning on returning after the baby is born, so I'm not sure how far our Board of Directors is going to want to extend sick day policies for someone who won't even be putting in 6 more months of work.  One more week will use up my remaining sick days, leaving me with 8 vacation days between now and July 1.  So much for taking those last 4 weeks before baby arrives as paid time off.

So my next u/s with the RE is tomorrow and I will get my updated bedrest instructions, check those with my OB, and go from there.



NT scan

As well as could be expected anyway. The tech was actually completely confused and thought she was looking at twins in different sacs (impossible with single embryo transfer) at first, but I'll get to that in a minute.


The baby looked great and was cooperative and relatively quiet for the first time ever. Perhaps because my poor bladder was taking up too much room. I was a little concerned at first, but we got a few wiggles and kicks by the end of the scan and the tech said the activity level was totally normal.  We had our genetic counseling session beforehand, which was a little daunting, but our risk numbers went from 1/645 for DS and 1/1152 for Trisomy 13/18 before screening, to less than 1 in 10,000 after so we are thrilled with that result. Here is the baby:

For several reasons that weren't new info today, one being an IVF w/ ICSI baby, I will need a Level II scan at about 18weeks and a fetal echocardiogram at about 22weeks.

So onto the "two sac" situation. Here is a picture from last tuesday, about 8 hours after my last major bleed. You can sort of see how one might think there were two in there.

Normally they don't give me these pictures, but the nurse printed a ton by accident so I had the whole strip...another picture that I can't find at the moment had the measurements from different angle. The SCH is 69mm by 34mm, the baby measured 59mm (CRL, not amniotic sac). So the SCH is still very large and some part of it is probably still active...the black area is either fluid or blood. It didn't look much different today, so I can only guess that means it is not going to resolve itself without another round of bleeding or more first. I see my RE one more time on Friday, so hopefully I can ask more questions then.

12 weeks!!

Even just 6 weeks ago I barely dared to hope I'd make it this far.  So much can happen in that time.  So much has happened.  But here we are!  Wave!

This is the picture we put in frames and wrapped to give R's sisters tomorrow night.  Obviously it is a baby, but I hope they can tell it is the head and a little arm.

And since I haven't posted any "bump" pictures since there hasn't been much change...here are the last 3 weeks.   I lost a bit of the bloat last week, but seemed to have gained it back for today.  There is a tiny bit of real bump in there though.

jinxed myself...here we go again.

Last night I had several little bleeds, then woke up around 1am feeling pretty awful.  I had abdominal pains that were partially gas but also something else.  I tried sleeping in different positions, but finally I felt a centralized burning pressure and I could feel the next bleed starting.  This time I passed another very large clot, about the same size as the very first one.  I woke up R and called the on call doctor at my OB to see what she recommended doing.  I still felt pretty uncomfortable, but there was no obvious cramping and the bleeding didn't seem to be getting any worse than light flow so we decided I should lay back down with my feet up and try to wait it out until morning.  Meanwhile, I'd also had a bad headache for the better part of the previous 12 hours, so sleep was alluding me on all levels.   Over an hour later, the doctor finally called me back and agreed with our decision to wait until morning.  I was not nearly as freaked out as the first time, the ER doc. had said there was another large clot in there...he just thought it was unlikely I'd pass it.

So I did get some sleep and called my RE first thing in the morning.  We went in around 9 and the baby still looks great.  The hematoma looked like a gigantic mess to me but the nurse assured me it hadn't gotten any worse and it was mostly clotted over, which is good news.  I still have a ways to go though, and I will probably continue to have bleeding for the next few weeks so I am still on bedrest somewhat.  I still have a lot of abdominal pressure, but some, if not most of that is because my uterus has started to flip up out of my pelvis, so I should be starting a real bump sometime soon.

Hanging in there.

It has been almost a week since I've had any majorly concerning bleeds *knocks on wood*.  I still don't feel particularly great, but when you spend the majority of your day on the couch or napping, I'd expect some discomfort to be normal.  My morning sickness seems to have ended...I haven't taken anything for it since last Tuesday.  Of course, no symptoms gives me reason to worry as well, but I've been playing with my home doppler and I've found the placenta quite easily (makes a sound like wind through the trees or the "sea" when listening to a seashell) and today it picked up something that registered at 145 so even though I couldn't really distinguish it from my HB mixed in with the placental noise, something else there.  My HB picks up around 120-130 and then drops steadily on the doppler to the 80s, this one went up so I know it wasn't mine.   Only 2 more days until my next u/s.

and another one

This blog is getting rather redundant, but such is my life right now.  My body did switch things up a little bit though, and sprung this one on me at 3am while I was sleeping.  Good thing I was prepared with my giant incontinence pads (yes, seriously).  This bleed was lighter than the 2nd one, so hopefully this will be a continuing trend.   It barely lasted long enough to be considered more than medium flow, so the sleep loss was more out of fear of what might come than what had passed.  That, and I'm not sure if it is mild cramping or nerves, but I get abdominal discomfort when these bleeds happen, but higher than where my uterus is sitting.   I haven't bothered to call the doctor about this one (though I'm still waiting for someone at my OB to get back to me) because it is mostly spotting again.  The primary nagging thought in the back of my mind is that somehow some of this might be leaking from around the baby, but I know there is nothing that can be done if that is the case, so I'm trying not to think about that.

11 weeks

Thursdays are the days I look forward to the most recently, because they are the days I reach a new week and I am that much closer to hopefully feeling more secure.  On Thursdays I can log in to my pregnancy forums and get to see that welcome message say something new again.

It is the little things that matter sometimes.   Today I'm feeling a little better.  I have to wonder how much of what I feel is normal pregnancy aches and changes and how much is related to the extra bleeding in my uterus.  I have noticed that I have to be much more careful when I roll over at night...making sure I turn everything together so I don't get stretching pains in my abdomen.  I'm still down 3lbs since the SCH started, but you can see the bloat.  Other than my one pair of loose work pants, I have yet to put on anything that has much of a waistband.  I am guessing my days of regular jeans are over.

another bleed and home on bedrest.

Last night as I got up from my desk at work I felt another small gush.  Luckily it was much slower than Saturday's and I had time to gather the rest of my stuff and head to the bathroom (remember my car is still in the shop, and so is my office key, so I didn't want to risk being locked out without my things).  I passed another small clot, about the size the ER doctor said I'd pass.  I wasn't panicked, more inconvenienced and worried that it would get worse, so I tried calling my OB's afterhours line.  What a clusterfuck.  I had to push option #2 at least 4 times until it actually put me through to the physician on call, who of course wasn't available and then it started asking for a 10 digit code.  WTF.   Thank god for my RE's office, who has a real person answering the phone at all times, and the regular nurses there until 6.  I spoke to a nurse and she offered to wait for us and do a scan.  I love those guys so much...I know they stayed late just for me.  Baby stills look good and super active.  I had another slightly larger gush as I got out of the car at the doctors.  So glad I made DH swipe a few of the diaper sized pads from the ER, because my pants and my winter coat would have been done in without one.

Anyway, the bleed area had changed shape since Monday, and most of the active bleed was shifting directly toward my cervix, so the nurse decided that I should stay home from work until next week's appointment, in hopes that we can get this thing healed over and on its way to reabsorption.   They didn't seem any more concerned than before and I am doing okay today.  Last night was rough though.  I passed two more small clots and generally felt like crap.  I always swore that I'd never say I didn't like being pregnant, but I definitely hit a low point last night as I tried to fall asleep.  I never expected easy, but I didn't expect it to be this hard emotionally and physically this early.  I think the tipping point is that I don't have a timeframe or point to work toward that is in the near future.  2nd tri won't necessarily change any of this, and that is no fun at all, but at least I'll be that much closer to having an outside baby.

baby still looks good

I called my RE this morning with long list of questions, and they offered to just have me come in so they could take a look at things.  The baby looked great, we were able to a good strong kick, a profile shot with a little nose, and the spine before it returned to it's bouncing and flip routine.  The heartbeat is back up to 178, but the nurse said that was normal and I think their equipment was acting up as well.

She said the bleed from the SCH was substantial, but the good news was that it was over my cervix and away from the placenta.  I could see it as soon as she inserted the wand...a long semi-circle of black.  One tiny bit of the placenta is lifted up, but it is nothing to be concerned about.  I will mostly likely have continued bleeding for a while though, and there is one rather large clot in there that she said I probably will not pass.   This week was supposed to be our last week with them, but they agreed to do an u/s next week as well, so between that, the NT scan on 27th, and my next OB appt on the 5th....I should be covered until 14 weeks, hopefully plenty of time to start breathing normally again.